Gok Wan is my hero. He has relieved the hours of boredom that I have been slowly accruing whilst my three month old baby girl is attached to my boob, guzzling for endless minutes each day. My husband thinks I am nuts because all I want to do is get to a Haberdashery and buy some bows, flowers, ribbon – any shit that I can use to garnish my clothing. Husband generously offered to support ‘project embellishment’ by picking up some leaves and sticks to complement the soon-to-buy items that I will attach to my wardrobe. Funny. With a new baby, we are on a serious budget and new clothes are a no-no for a while but there is still a smile on my face (an anomoly for someone who loves clothes but can’t buy any). Why? Because good old Gok has inspired me to funk up my old clothes, which I intend to do with as many accoutrements I can find. The potential for me to end up looking like a Christmas tree is great, so I understand Husband’s mockery. Personally, I like the Christmas tree look thank you very much! There is no such thing as ‘too much’ or ‘overdone’ in my life. (more…)

Richard of Devizes wrote in 1177:

I do not like the city at all. All sorts of men crowd there from every country…each brings its own vices and customs. None lives in it without falling into some sort of crime. Every quater abounds in grave obscenities. The greater the rascal, the greater man he is accounted…Do not associate with the crowd of pimps: do not mingle with the throng in eating houses: avoid dice and gambling, the theatre and the tavern…the number of parasites is infinite. Actors, jesters, smooth-skinned lads, moors flatterers, pretty-boys, effeminates, paederasts, singing and dancing girls, quacks, belly-dancers, sorceresses, extortioners, night-wanderers, magicians, mimes, beggars and buffoons…if you do not want to dwell with evil-livers, do not live in London. (A Thousand Years of Vice in the Capital: London The Wicked City, Fergus Linnane)

What strikes me about this observation is that nothing has changed. People still complain about foreigners and parents are afraid to let their youngsters loose in the lion’s den that is London. Sin and debauchery populate the city and to remain uncorrupted by the great Lion one has to be steadfast in one’s moral convictions: so it is thought. As I, in the year 2010, ponder the considerations of Richard of Devizes, 800+ years after the English chronicler wrote about London, a smurk appears on my face. In my mind, the very things that make the city of London deplorable to so many are what make it the fabulous, charming city that it is – from the haphazard grunge of Camden Town to the grandiose beauty of Westminster and the frenzied energy of central London. All of the aforementioned places have their own uniquely bewitching allure. (more…)

Yesterday, when the little boy in front of me on the bus tantrumed for an entire hour I really tried not to judge. I know well that the poor mom trying to control little Mr Psycho could be me in two years time. But seriously! This kid was completely wild and out of control – he threw his arms and legs around like an overturned insect, he bit his mom and he screeched like a demon being exorcised back to hell. My daughter was sleeping soundly next to Mr Psycho and when he started bashing her pram I envisioned picking the kid up by his hair and throwing him out of the bus window. Lucky for Mr Psycho his mom yanked his arm away and he listened … well, he started bashing her instead of my baby’s pram. Fine by me. Everyone on the bus watched in uncomfortable silence and those with iPods thanked God in heaven and cranked up the volume. After Mr Psycho’s mom eventually managed to strap mini-Satan into his stroller (with the help of my husband) he writhed around like a mental patient in a straight-jacket and his crazed eyes darted around in search of someone who he could direct his fury at. I have heard of the ‘terrible twos’ but have never ever seen behaviour like this. I am scarred for life.

RATM steals the glory! Guardian.co.uk reports that Killing In The Name has won the battle for Christmas top spot on the basis of downloads only. It sold about 500,000 copies last week, approximately 50,000 more than The Climb, X Factor winner Joe McElderry’s earnest ballad. Campaign initiator 35 year old Jon Morter claims that the choice of a relatively obscure Miley Cyrus cover for McElderry’s single helped the Rage campaign: “If he had released Don’t Stop Believing (the Journey song McElderry sang in an X Factor heat) we would have been dead and buried.” Hopefully Morter’s statement against pansy-ass cover songs has taught the ‘powers that be’ a lesson in song choice! Anarchy has triumphed under the ironic banner of a song that says “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me”. The success of Morter’s facebook campaign, which was assisted by twitter, is a testament to the strength of social media: used in this case as a tool to unite a collective in a bid to topple the status quo. In this battle, the internet has emerged as master in command.

The X Factor winner has been announced and Joe McElderry is likely to follow the trend of the last few years by achieving the No 1 single this Christmas. It’s a bummer, especially when McElderry’s song is not even original. The Climb, owned by Sony Music Entertainment, is a country pop song performed by American recording artist and actress Miley Cyrus for the 2009 film Hannah Montana: The Movie. Lameness personified. One of the biggest criticisms of X Factor is the karaoke nature of the show, in which contestants perform renditions of songs by successful pop artists. And a karaoke Christmas single merely confirms this view. That is why, this year, a facebook campaign has been launched by Tracy and Jon Morter, entitled “Rage Against the Machine for Christmas No 1″. (more…)

March couldn’t come soon enough!

If somebody tells me about the “Mozart Effect” one more time I am going to start breaking faces. I realise that my metal music alliances may be enough to freak out the most liberal of thinkers but it would be most appreciated if people did their research.

The Mozart Effect is a theory that is based on a set of research results, which indicate that listening to Mozart’s music may induce a short-term improvement on the performance of certain kinds of mental tasks known as ‘spatial-temporal reasoning‘. Popularised versions of the theory credit the playing of classical music to babies with boosting IQ, improving health, strengthening family ties and even producing the occasional child prodigy. This idea was entrenched in the 1997 book by Don Campbell, The Mozart Effect: Tapping the Power of Music to Heal the Body, Strengthen the Mind, and Unlock the Creative Spirit. Although there have been numerous studies conducted in support of the Mozart Effect, the theory remains controversial and there are many academics and studies that debunk the extent and consistency of the proposed effects of classical music on babies. There are researchers who argue that the Mozart Effect represents only the short-term effects of classical music on mood and arousal. There are also studies concluding that although classical music may have a calming effect babies, it does not in fact improve IQ. This is why researchers continue to test whether the Mozart Effect is real and if any other styles and pieces of music have the same effect. (more…)

My favourite Barbie was the one with the blue party dress and the poofy eighties fringe. My second favourite was my Party Pink Barbie which came adorned in pink, jewels and glitz – the showstopper being a furry pink shawl sprinkled with sparkly silver stuff. I had some other pretend ‘Barbies’ that I managed to destroy: I used hand soap to wash one doll’s beautiful red hair and it remains, to this very day, stuck together in one giant dreadlock; and I had a mermaid Cindy (or something) which apparently was not supposed to be used in water despite the fact that she came with a beautiful mermaid tail – her crimped hair changed from ‘Darryl Hannah in Splash‘ to ‘Cameron Diaz in Being John Malkovich‘. Poor dollies. Taiwanese plastic is pretty sturdy but does allow for creativity that encompasses body modification, hair design and facial piercings. If my mom had taken a look at my Barbies perhaps she wouldn’t have been so surprised when I got my first tattoo, purple-black hair and piercing. I spent many a happy hour ‘playing Barbies’ with neighbours, friends, cousins and even brothers – although their version of the game was called ‘army bases’ and involved G.I. Joes, lego, micro-machines, farmyard animals and plants from the garden. (more…)

The Museum of Modern Art in New York is honouring Director Tim Burton with a retrospective exhibit of the artwork connected to some of his most beloved films including Edward Scissorhands and The Nightmare Before Christmas. The exhibition will include hundreds of never-before-seen paintings, sculptures and puppets from the artist’s own collection. Celebs including Johnny Depp, Patti Smith, Danny DeVito, Tim Burton and partner Helena Bonham Carter attended the exhibition premier in New York this week (see footage). The exhibition will run from 22 November 2009 until 26 April 2010 and has been described by MONA as an exhibition of Burton’s work “as a director, producer, writer, and concept artist for live-action and animated films, along with his work as a fiction writer, photographer and illustrator.” (more…)

You gotta love metalheads! Last night I, along with my 34 week pregnant belly, went to a Paradise Lost gig at Islington Academy in London – as fan and music journalist. So whilst the husband and his photo pass were hanging out with the important peeps up front, I made my way upstairs – wisely thinking that my baby girl, although a fan of Paradise Lost, would not appreciate being crunched against a hoard of sweaty metallers for two hours. Luckily there was a nice comfy couch with my name written all over it, so I sat my ass down to wait for the metal masters of doom and gloom to inflict their brilliance on the night. (more…)