Introducing… “50 Shades Of Grey”; the erotic trilogy the everyone’s talking about. It is, depending on your intellect, the atrociously written story of a submissive-dominant relationship between a literature student and a business executive. It started as fan fiction and has since sold in the millions. If you care to vomit, CLICK HERE for an excerpt.
And the rant…
Why do people subject themselves to “clunky prose” and “exceedingly awful descriptions” in the name of pleasure? Sad. Very sad.
If literature is to be used as a dildo, or whatever, why not read something that actually qualifies as literary? Marquis de Sade for one. Oh wait – because the objective of the masses exploited by E.L. James’ ‘mommy porn’ is not to garner knowledge, revel in insight and engage in artful entertainment; it’s merely to identify with the middle-aged fantasy of a wannabe writer who decided to air her sexual deprivation on society after watching an equally vapid teen fantasy. Twilight. Really? Come… on.
Erotic fiction (although James classifies her sorry excuse for a novel as contemporary romance), BDSM in particular, is a complicated genre that demands thought and research, not to mention narrative skill if it is to be rendered masterfully. E.L James has admitted that she wrote the book on the fly – got her hubby to check the grammar “and he still didn’t get the hint.” Surely there are better ways of dealing with a mid-life crisis; publishing bad fiction not being the optimal solution.
So – ‘don’t read it then’; is what the UnaMind will chant.
Not to worry; there exists neither desire nor intention. Not for the sake of curiosity, boredom or even an educated opinion. This trendy piece of apparent trash will remain shelved on principle – not a principle inspired by prude but a principle birthed in reaction to the type of reader that this book has encouraged; the kind that says this: “I read it through lunch breaks and I’m giggling…I’m like, ‘I can’t believe she just wrote that.” (Laura Vargas, 31, executive assistant), and the fact that the book is just, well, shit.
Better time is spent on authors who make a point; who conjure the human condition with consideration, sensitivity and intelligence. How about a Dickens, a Welsh, an Ishiguro or a Woolf. ‘Who’, says the UnaMind.
The unfortunate reality is: porn sells, so does junk. The human race really is a dismal class of being.
Sources:
Guardian.co.uk – EL James: ‘I didn’t buy a sports car or have an affair: I wrote instead’, Erotica: better reads than Fifty Shades of Grey and Fifty Shades of Grey leaves records black and blue.
Hollywoodlife.com – E.L. James Admits: ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Didn’t Spice Up My Own Sex Life
Hollywoodreporter.com – ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Author E L James Embarks on U.S. Book Tour
Thank you for your words.
Let’s begin this revolution!
Let’s bring back culture, art, ideas.
It’s a medieval era the one we live in.
Thank you.
As a woman who subjected herself to become one of the masses, purchase, and read not one, but all 3 of the books, I can honestly say I couldn’t agree with you more. In fact, while reading the books, I constantly asked myself (and my husband for that matter) why I continued reading that garbage. Not that I pride myself on reading classics, or even books of that much interest in the first place, but I read. And I can say, the writing style was horrible, the repetition was mind numbing, and the part that was supposed to be the best (the sex) became boring! It was terrible. Probably the worst reading experience of my life, and I will never recommend the books to anyone. Such a disappointment!
Thanks for your comment! It’s great to have the opinion of someone who has actually read the book!
Anj! This is so true! Id rather dry hump a cactus than read this shit. Its because every sorry female (Excluding the properly educated of course) has got a wounded rich man obsession that they feel they need to fix obsession. For fucks sakes…. if people like that existed then ted fucking bundy would have been a millionair and darmah would have never been locked up! The truth is that if you want to fix something…start with your self. The only reason the obsession is there is because your own life is a mess. Not directed at you… just in general. OH and I promise… not every chick wants a man to shove their finger in their ass….. A. It hurts no matter how “Good” you think you are and B. Its just fucking Gross no matter how “Good” you think you are!!! case and point.
Hahaha – thanks for agreeing on the point that this book is the DUMBEST thing in the history of ever! For real.