WILL & KATE RANDOM ROYAL REGALIA RUBBISH Series
Will & Kate got married and lots of dumb shit was produced in their honour. Read and weep.
The Franklin Mint has just released a 16-inch plastic replica of Kate Middleton. The “Portrait of a Princess” doll is hand-painted, drenched in jewels and boasts a price-tag of $195. Only 5,000 versions of plastic Kate will be for sale worldwide!
A Kate Middleton Barbie? Poignant irony. Barbie – blonde hair, blue eyes, model-esque… not quite Kate (in a good way). Okay, so the Kate dolly doesn’t actually carry the Barbie brand of mass production but popular culture dictates that any life-like small skinny doll with long hair is pretty much Barbie, even if it’s not made in China.
Kate Barbie is clothed in a reproduction of the blue silk jersey dress that the real-life Ms Middleton wore to formally announce her engagement to Prince William. On that note, what is a Barbie without a Ken? If Will does not crop up in plastic it will be a travesty of all things playworthy (for a second let’s pretend that this doll will not be purchased by infatuated fans who intend to confine Kate in a glass cabinet or display her on a kitchen shelf). And what about a place to live? The Barbie mansion is far too bourgeois for blue blood. Perhaps a cardboard cut-out of Buckingham Palace or Windsor Castle instead? And Will and Kate will need some friends – a plastic Queenie, Chelsea, Harry, Charles and Camilla (perhaps not a Camilla). Why stop there? Some horses to ride, some guards to… guard, some servants to cook and clean, a prime minister to make decisions, some subjects to boss…
All things are possible in the game of Will and Kate.
The limited edition Kate collectible comes with a Certificate of Authenticity and a display stand. In June the Mint will release a second doll; Bridal Kate will be dressed in a replica of the gown she’ll have chosen for her April 29 wedding.