Boy oh boy! Does the South African government face a mammoth task. Team ANC South Africa, captained by Jacob Zuma, will face the equivalent of the mighty Samoan giants on a quadruple steroid dosage which equals fifteen times The Thing from The Fantastic Four. The ANC opposition boasts the likes of Crime, AIDS, Unemployment and Corruption, and captained by (in the words of Roald Dahl) the infamous bonecrunching, fleshlumpeating, childchewing, meatdripping, gizzardgulping, manhugging, bloodbottling, maidmashing, bucherboying RECESSION. Built like trained assassins, team Recession will slaughter its opposition given an iota of a chance. The challenge is daunting but the ANC is left with no choice but to tackle its opposition head on. Of course chances of victory for Zuma’s men are hindered by a severe lack of loyalty (and scruples) within the team. On many occasions have ANC team members been known to coerce with the likes of Corruption and Crime, including captain Zuma himself. Captain Recession looms ominously in the background, carefully biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment to claim his victims. Thus far, team Zuma’s game-plan in the impending challenge against Recession and his men is to “waste nearly R1-million of taxpayers’ money” as reported by the Star. Nkomo-Ralehoko, the MEC for Agriculture and Rural Development, purchased a R920 000 Mercedes-Benz without proper insurance and installation of tracking devices. The car was then stolen the same weekend, when the minister’s husband was hijacked in their driveway. A tad dubious perhaps. Fortunately the minister has consequently resigned from her position on team ANC – perhaps after the captain realised that management of a financial crisis is not best met with money laundering and corruption. So the shower remains above Captain Zuma’s head for the moment but team ANC’s enemies are not easily vanquished and there is no doubt that any false move against Aids, Unemployment, Crime, Corruption and the deadly Recession, will glue that nozzle firmly back to the captain’s noggin.