The Following: the good the bad and the very very stupid

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The Following is great; protagonist and ultra-suave-sexy-drunkard-antihero-with-a-damaged-heart-and-a-death-complex Kevin Bacon (aka Ryan Hardy) is cool (more than cool), sadist-serial-killer-weirdo Joe Carroll is sufficiently creepy and lady-love-damsel-in-distress Claire Matthews is accurately pretty and even a little badass. A cult formed by the unassuming evils of modern technology, led by a psycho and united by a debauched interpretation and literal enactment of Edgar Allan Poe’s dark romanticism is both current and interesting. That’s the good.

The bad and stupid are pretty much synonomous: Joe Carroll will NEVER GET CAUGHT.

Not because he is a mind so dark and brilliant that he can evade the authorities with his pure genius (which is totally tolerable).

Why?

Because the FBI sucks. It sucks a lot. It sucks so many balls that it’s hard to count.

America should be overrun with serial killers if Fox network’s latest offering is anything to go by.

Bad guys always get away and people always get killed because: there are never enough agents, phones never have signal, the boss never believes the guy who is always right (Hardy), no one ever gets there on time, there’s always a tracking device that duh! no one notices and everyone has crap aim – you’d think that a cult responsible for a massacre of death and destruction would deserve to be taken more seriously, perhaps?

Apparently not.

Here’s the thing: although Claire half throttling Emma to death hit the spot (the please-can-someone-kill-Emma-because-her-face-is-stupidly-annoying spot), the audience needs a pay-off at some point SO… it’s time to get y’all half-baked asses back to Quantico and sign up for ‘How to catch the bad guys 101’. In the meantime, here’s a handy tip:

Don’t leave killers untended especially when their hands are badly tied and you HAVE NO BACK-UP – for the love of God!

You’re welcome.

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