It always seems like such a romantic idea – lying next to your lover in a bed of soft green grass, staring up at the sky, listening to birds chirping and bees buzzing, watching marshmellowy puffs of cotton wool cloud pass overhead, feeling the sun and the gentle breeze on your skin…discussing the future…sharing hopes and dreams… where you will live…how big your house will be… how many children you will have…what their names will be… how many boys and how many girls…where you will go on vacation… how many pets you will have. **screech** Rewind. Back to the name thing. Pleasantville is always destroyed when it gets to this stupid point. **sigh** Bye bye happy cliché of romantic idealism. As myself and my lover fight to impress our opinions on one other, our voices gradually escalate, we resort to insulting and mockery, which eventually dissipates into hysteria as we launch into the absurd after stumbling upon the realisation that the only solution to the issue of ‘what label’ is to resort to names along the lines of cookie dough or clutch plate.
I love the name Jack. If I have a son one day, I want to name him Jack. When I told husband, I justified my sentiment by saying that “so many awesome people are called Jack, like: Jack Bauer, Jack Sparrow, Jack Skellington, Jack Black, Jack (& the Beanstalk)…” and he replied “…jackass”. What a grouch! So that’s out of the question. Husband, on the other hand, wants to pay homage to his heritage by giving our potential offspring some dashing Italian name, like Valentino or Roberto. I told him we may as well name our son Fabio. Nice. Luckily, our son is saved by my uncultured South African pronunciation of the Italian sounding Rrrrobeerrrrto or Giiioooovannni. I managed to change his mind about those beauties after forcing him to listen to my vernacular mutilation of these beloved names. Besides there would be a great deal of pressure on the poor kid to live up to the studly Italian stallion machismo demanded by a Roberto or a Valentino. We have agreed on a girl’s name – Amelia. It’s beautiful. But my first choice would be Violet or Scarlett. For me, those names bring to the fore the romance of sixteenth century France, Marie Antoinette, Versailles and the opulence of the French aristocracy. Like a regular Monsieur Defarge, husband revolts like a true peasant by, yet again, ripping me out of Pleasantville. Apparently Scarlett and Violet remind him of grannys, flowers and Gone With the Wind. Double-grouch!
One would think that the vehemence of such arguing would at least be warranted by the imminent arrival of a child – apparently not for us, the mere thought of children is enough to warrant the bursting of a perfectly pleasant bubble. Where does one turn in times of crisis? Google of course. Here is what the Oracle has to say:
NZS.com has provided some points to ponder when thinking of the perfect name for your baby:
- How popular is your baby name? If you don’t want your child to share their name with a classmate you might want to check out the baby name websites that contain lists of top baby names for 2007, top baby names for 2008, and in the future 2009, 2010 etc.
- Is your favourite baby name similar to an existing brother or sister? Similar baby names among siblings can cause confusion, with each being called the wrong name by ageing relatives.
- Does your favourite baby name have the same initials as another immediate family member? This can also cause confusion, with everyone uncertain as to whom a letter that has arrived in the post really belongs to.
- Does your top baby name shorten nicely? If you love the grandness of ‘Alexander’, will you also cherish the baby name ‘Alex’?
- Is your top baby name easy to pronounce and spell? If it is not, will you mind hearing new friends stumble over your baby’s name or miss-spell it in a card?
[**Blaagghh** Vomit. It's all so disgustingly practical and just so boring. The day I consider choosing a name based on these practicalities is the day my baby gets the name cookie dough or clutch plate. What ever happened to the passion, romance and beauty inherent in a name?]
BabyAsk website provides some advice for soon-to-be parents who cannot agree on a name for their new son or daughter:
- If you both have strong ideas about a name you like why not use one as the first name and one as the middle name or alternatively use them as a hyphenated first name together. This way you’ll both be happy and your child can decide which he likes best as he grows older.
- Try to find names that share the same meaning as your preferred name, you may be able to find the same sentiment in a name you both like.
- Why not look into the different spellings or foreign alternatives available for your name of choice, these could show up some lovely alternatives that you’ve never even considered.
- Both make lists detailing your favourite baby names their meanings. By discussing your likes and dislikes of each name and seeing how they fit with your surname you can work out a short list together and decide on the most suitable name when you finally meet your little one.
- If you really can’t decide why not create a completely new name, try merging your preferred names together or making anagrams of the two so that your child can have a really unique name that both his parents love.
[Aaaah...such sweetly optimistic advice. These BasbyAsk characters clearly have no clue about what happens when you combine an Italian and an Irish. "Discussion" - what's that? As for the tabloidesque, soap opera-ish notion of the anagram: Jack + Roberto/Valentino/Giovanni = Jackentino, Jackovanni, Jackerto, Roberjack, Giojack, Valenjack. Need I say more?]
Here are some helpful tips from the public, which should be taken as seriously as the quality of the grammar and language that formulate these pearls of wisdom:
“I think the one who does the most work growing the baby should pick the name. He can pick the middle name.”
Or
“what i think is ya’ll pick a name that ya’ll both and ya’ll agree on it”
Or
“I feel like men should name their sons and women their daughters. Comprimise is alway best. Make the name mean something, either honoring ancestors or an new name that will bring Light to the future. My son’s name is Erif, mostly from me, but his mom had the final say to any of my suggestions.”
Or
“when my middle son was born we could not decide what to name him my husband had a list of names and i had a list of names when my son was coming out i gave both lists to my lil sister told her to pick 1 name off each list put them together and they would be his first and middle names”
Although it is tempting to take the advice of someone who names her son Erif, I think I’d rather prepare for battle. I can already see how it’s going to play out: while I am screeching in pain as I push our little bundle of joy into this world, husband will sign the birth certificate and name the baby – Wham Bam Thank You Mam. I can only hope that the birthing process is so disgustingly traumatic for the poor man that he passes out and I get to choose the name and sign the certificate. Amazing! It will be a duel to the finish – and I think I prefer it that way.
Hahahahaha, Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-1 all the way. Haha. x
If it was legal, I’d wait till my child could name itself. That way, they only have themselves to blame if they don’t like it. But what would i call it until then? Child? “You!”… it’s tricky. Luckily, there won be kids for quite some time, so it’s not a real problem just yet.
PS: totally Jack. The Italian ones just sound tragic.
haha Jackentino :-D
Yip, my dad named me when he signed the certificate. Choosing a name that mom and dad hadn’t even discussed! Can you imagine me being named “Shannon” or “Louise”?