A new direction for Glee’s Kurt

Bittersweet clarity – OH the torment! When Kurt didn’t pitch up on X Factor with the rest of the Glee cast in December, I wondered, with great perturbation, where the fuck he was. Now I know: gone. Gone… to Dalton Academy where gays aren’t bullied. It is too terrible…

I can only hope that queer Kurt will appear in forthcoming episodes as part of the Warblers; competition to New Directions. I’m thinking Bitch Fight! Kurt vs Rachel – and throw Santana in the mix to get some heads rolling and blood splattering. Riveting!

Kurt leaving was a big bummer BUT the consolation prize was Sue Sylvester getting married to herself – totally bizarre and definitely up there as one of my all-time favourite Glee moments.

Sue, do you take Sue to be your lawfully wedded spouse? I do. And Sue, do you take Sue to be your lawfully wedded spouse. I do. By the power vested in me by a website, I hereby pronounce you Sue and Sue. You may kiss yourself.

Another compensating element to an episode full of pertinent sentimentality was the introduction of Carol Burnett as Sue’s Nazi-hunting mother, who has finally succeeded in capturing the last Nazi – Eva Braun’s great-nephew Chad. The whole ‘Sue’s sassy mom thing’ lends itself to many a great story line. I’m thinking… that Doris and Col. Hans Landa should coincidentally ‘bump into one another’ at a High School production of Saving Private Ryan and, after sharing life philosophies, go head to head in a bar type brawl while New Directions sings “Kung Fu Fighting” in the background – the scene is sufficiently ironic to complement the show’s anarchic attitude towards the politically correct.

So, in honour of Kurt, Episode 8 and the potential for scintillating saga:

Kurt: My Power Rangers got married and divorced in so many combinations, they were like Fleetwood Mac.

Finn: Are you sure we should free 300 live doves indoors? Won’t that get messy?
Kurt: That’s why we feed them glitter.