Pink is for Prostitutes

Today a travesty occurred. A friend stole my pink nail polish, smeared it all over pink-mangaher nails, and then proclaimed with glee, “Now I look like a prostitute”. Pink is for prostitutes? Well fuck me! I must be a world class prostitute. Who knew? Not that I have anything against prostitution. Everyone’s got to make a living – we are living in a recession after all.

I have a passion for pink. Hold on. Let me qualify this statement: I have a passion for Hot Pink – also known as Shocking Pink or Fuchsia. Pink looks particularly awesome with black & lime green. My wedding colours were pink red and orange… my wedding dress was pink red and orange (and a bunch of other colours). I have a pink and black tattoo. I am a big fan of decoration, especially when it involves pink. I often liken myself to a Christmas tree. I was once asked by a colleague, in all earnestness, what goes through my mind when I get dressed every morning. Upon looking down at the flowers, checks and stripes I had adorned myself with on that particular day, I shrugged as I told her that it all makes sense in my head. This colleague made a nice save by saying that only I can pull it off successfully…whatever it is. Sorry… slight tangent… back to pink.

Sadly, like my friend, many people do not share my passion for pink. This is a euphemism. Many people, in fact, hate the colour. **tear** What’s up with this aversion to pink anyway? I thought it might me a good idea to delve into the collective consciousness of all the haters out there. I did some google-ing and here is what I discovered:

Hater number 1: “Pink repulses men. Why would any woman wear the colour which men hate and drives them away? This is another negative impact of having the fashion industry stuffed full of gay men who haven’t got a clue about how heterosexual men think. It is madness for women to let gay men give them dress tips still less to let them tell them what to wear. Gay men seem to think that men like pink, well duh, pink is used as a sign that a man is gay so when a gay man sees a man in pink he is attracted to the sign that the other man will not violently repulse his advances. Why on Earth should a heterosexual man ever be attracted by the colour favoured by gay men and little girls? Pink is the colour of women and homosexuals, it is not ever going to appeal to straight men.”

Hater Number 2: “First, she is not original and unique by wearing pink, because EVERYONE wears pink. Second, she tells the world she has no style, character or goals; she tells the world she’s a nameless brick in the wall of humanity. And finally, she tells the world she does not quite know what to make of life, because pink is all about uncertainty and indecisiveness.”

Hater Number 3: “But really, why am I so against pink? The major pink delivery device for little girls is the Barbie doll. As a feminist, I’ve been trained to hate Barbie morphing little girls’ view of what a woman should look like, her sexless relationship with pathetic Ken, and her little shoes. Why do we really hate her, though? (Let’s get one thing clear. I don’t like what Barbie has done to the female impression of beauty. But Barbie is reviled for so many other things that I’m not sure she’s worthy of.)”

Hater Number 4: “Why do people say things like “pink is the new black”? Obviously pink is pink and black is black.”

In summation:
– Pink is for gays
– Pink is for little girls
– Women who wear pink are trying to be unique
– Women who wear pink have no goals or character
– It’s all Barbie’s fault
– Pink is not black
ie. Woe to all the Barbie-loving, boring, unambitious, common, colour-blind… homosexuals, little girls and prostitutes. Woe to all pink-appreciators!

I will retaliate with the wise words of Mr Steve Tyler, who best understands the passion and intensity of this most majestic of colours:

Pink it’s my new obsession black-pink-goth3
Pink it’s not even a question
Pink on the lips of your lover, coz
Pink is the love you discover
Pink as the bing on your cherry
Pink coz you are so very
Pink it’s the color of passion
Coz today it just goes with the fashion
Pink it was love at first sight, yea
Pink when I turn out the light, and
Pink gets me high as a kite
And I think everything is going to be all right
No matter what we do tonight
You could be my flamingo
Coz pink is the new kinda lingo
Pink like a deco umbrella
It’s kink – but you don’t ever tell her
Pink it was love at first sight
Pink when I turn out the light
Pink gets me high as a kite
And I think everything is going to be all right
No matter what we do tonight
I want to be your lover
I wanna wrap you in rubber
As pink as the sheets that we lay on
Pink is my favorite crayon, yeah
Pink it was love at first sight
Pink when I turn out the light
Pink it’s like red but not quite
And I think everything is going to be all right
No matter what we do tonight