Stallone’s ‘brows steal the show

The magnificent Morticia Adams has nothing on Stallone’s sculpted ‘brows. Arched and pointed to precise perfection, it is no surprise that the actor cast his shapely eyebrows as the lead in The Expendables; a 2010 action flick co-written, directed and support-acted by Sly himself.

Not the buff build of the 64-year-old stud nor the film’s exceptional action hero/villain cast including Eric Roberts, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Gary Daniels, Randy Couture, Jason Statham, Terry Crews, Steve Austin, and three minutes of Bruce Willis and Governor Arnie, could draw my attention away from the manicured majesty of Sly’s spectacular brows. With prosthetic abs flexed, veins bulging and guns blazing, Mr Italian-Stallion Stallone bulldozed his way around the The Expendables with an unyielding expression of relentless surprise attached to his surgically constructed face. In a performance that oozed resolute persistence, the man’s ‘brows rose to the challenge of botox-inspired beauty by remaining frozen in the status quo for an entire 103 minutes. Spectacular stuff. In fact, had it not been for the stoic fortitude of Stallone’s ‘brows (as well as a brief glimpse of beautiful Bruce), I would have abandoned the film with bored apathy in tow.

Perhaps eyelid enhancements or butt-cheek implants will serve as the next male lead in The Expendables II – yes folks, there is a second.