Talkin’ trash about rainbow bagels. Naughty naughty.


How about a bagel? Yes? Good. So…how about a rainbow bagel? Like My Little Pony (possibly Rainbow Dash) took a poop in your hand, boiled it in hot water and then smeared it with stuff to make it taste extra-yum.

You know.

New Yorkers love ’em and if you want to be cool in London (especially if you’re a poet/artist from Shoreditch with a low-cut vest, a moustache and a sailor tat…in which case you’ll dump synth band practice and locate your fixie); head on over to Selfriges food hall, where rainbow bagels (by Yummies Deli) will set you back £4.99 – for five.

Then post your purchase on Instagram, just so everyone knows you’re cool.


Now you’re good to get eating.

Rainbow bagels are great with a cream cheese, smoked salmon, avo, rocket, Malden sea salt combo, which goes really well with E427e, E516, E300, E422, E102, E110, E122, E129, E133, E153, E406, E202, E330 and E331. Delicious Irony.


Feed ’em to your kids but make sure it’s a weekend; you wouldn’t want the ‘adverse effects on activity and attention’ to affect a school day.


And if you’re having second thoughts about the dangers of a chemical coronary, the good news is that rainbow bagels should last until you die…so you’ll have lots of time to ponder.

But in all honesty, when something looks this awesome…