I didn’t leave South Africa because I didn’t like it and I didn’t leave with the intention not to go back. Five years later, I know I won’t go back.
Living in fear is not normal.
Somehow… not being able to walk around at night; being afraid to let my car idle in my driveway; treating red robots as stop streets; waiting for a taxi or drunk driver to smash me and my car into oblivion; always the worry of theft, hijack, rape, AIDS and even murder; living in fear of my fellow man… became my version of normal. When I arrived in the UK (literally hours after) I realised how abnormal my version of normal was – and it took extricating myself from the context to realise.
By no means do I live in safety – I live in London; there’s knife crime, vandalism and a hooligan lurking around every corner. But the police don’t carry guns and if you make a call about kids throwing snowballs at cars in your street, the police are there in minutes. It’s difficult not to compare. But forgetting the pros, cons and obvious differences, it’s about quality of life. ‘It’ being giving up the domicile of one’s country. Something awful could happen to me on the streets of London but I do not live in fear of this unforeseen event. In South Africa, I constantly lived in fear that something bad would happen – so much so that it just became a manner of being. And because that sense of fear was made synonymous with normality, it became irrelevant. IT IS NOT IRRELEVANT. I carried on with living, happy and healthy, fear… well, that’s just life. THIS IS NOT NORMAL.
So I have chosen a better option: to remove myself, and my family.
This is obviously not the popular option. South Africans are infuriated by people who leave; it’s synonymous with apathy and abandonment, which renders obsolete any opinion and insight on behalf of the leaver – apparently. If that’s that price, I’m okay with that. The fury and fear that I felt five years ago has dissipated and I’m the better for it. Sometimes the bigger picture has to make way for self-preservation.
I haven’t felt sad about South Africa in a long time but the highly publicised and horrifically tragic story of Reeva Steenkamp and Oscar Pistorius as well as that of Anene Booysen have changed that (for the moment at least). Old feelings of fear and fury have crept their way back to consciousness. Crime sucks – I’m not in it anymore and I’d forgotten how fearful it made me. I’m glad I’ve been reminded.
The BBC reports in an article entitled “Will South Africans ever be shocked by rape?“:
“According to witnesses, the man had just attacked and raped a 17-year-old girl at his table, but apparently considered the incident so trivial that he had not even tried to flee.
Nor had anyone else in the bar, besides the alleged victim, thought of contacting the police.”
THIS IS NOT NORMAL.
The rape statistics in South Africa read something like this: almost 60,000 rapes are reported to the police each year; experts believe the true figure is at least 10 times that – 600,000 attacks (BBC.co.uk); South Africa has one of the world’s highest rates of rape, one in four women has been sexually assaulted and more than 25 per cent of men have admitted to rape (BBCUSAOFFICIAL); 7 per cent of all rape cases reach trial and 1 per cent of that 7 per cent get convictions (recently raped friend).
I have two daughters.
But it’s not even about the stats, it’s about the stories – the stories of friends and family: it’s about stolen cars (but at least no one was in them at the time); my high school friend who was knifed to death (but at least the friend who was with her survived); another friend who was shot and killed protecting his girlfriend from thieves; another who was tied up, threatened and beaten (but at least not killed… or burnt in the face with an iron – according to police); and another who was brutally gang raped a single kilometre away from the police station – the police arrived 45 minutes after the call. THIS IS NOT NORMAL.
I’ve experienced normal. And I like it.
This is not about trashing a beautiful country or belittling those who live there; it’s my story, my experience. And it is thus irrefutable. I do have an opinion and I will express it; I may not live in South Africa but I am South African – heart, mind and soul – and I have family and friends who live there every day. I am also privileged enough to be able to accept an alternative. And you can be damn sure that I intend to do so.
Image attribution:
top – Fear Drawing by Yvonne Lopez on Fineartamerica.com
top right – “Fear” by *akirakirai on deviantART
Agree that some things are not normal. And the stats are disgusting to say the least.It is also not normal to eat horsemeat. Or pay for people to have a better standard of living while on the doll. Or to hardly see the sun. Or to believe nothing can happen eslewhere in the world. Or to believe you jobs and pension are secure anywhere in the world.Or to believe you are free from terroirsit attacks. Or to try burn down a town that is supposed to be a first world country.(London riots) South Africa has huge problems .For what I belive is the most beautifuly diverse country in the world from game views, beaches from the east to the west, mountain ranges, desserts , Namaqualand etc it is certainly not pleasing. Many people have choices and everybody is right. If something goes wrong is is becuase of where you live or is it Gods will? Does he know when you are going to die? Has he made you make a choice for a reason? Depends what you believe. I still know many happy Zimbabweans believe it or not. People that live if fear must ask themselves what they are afraid of. If it is dying….have a close look at yourself.
Hi Piet, thank you for your comment.
The UK stats are certainly nothing to brag about and I certainly am under no illusion that this country is safe from terrorism etc (I stated the etc. in my article). As for for jobs, my husband has been made redundant twice in London (but has a brilliant job now, one that he certainly would not have acquired without the redundancies and he would certainly not have been afforded the same opportunity in SA).
From a Christian perspective, if something goes wrong it is most certainly not God’s will – God does not will pain or suffering although He does allow it. This world belongs to the enemy and God will reclaim it one day (sooner rather than later hopefully). With regard to fear of dying (never mind rape and any form of pain associated with the brutal physical assault that is inflicted on South Africans every minute of every day); is it not natural to fear death, even if you believe that you will be in heaven thereafter? It’s unrealistic and unsympathetic to assume otherwise. Taking a close look at myself, I prefer not to have death thrust in my face on a daily basis. But that’s just me.
The crux of the argument is; ‘what are you prepared to live with?’ – lifestyle, in other words. The quality of my life (and the life of my family) is preferable here in London, for many reasons. And that’s it.
Sorry I dont even have words for such a coward that you are! I find all you people blaming crime and AID and stuff for reason of leaving, it is just that you are not a fighter and can not live up to a challange in life. I lived in London for a year and hated people like you all bad mouthing South Africa but then when we host the world cup all of you are proudly South African! I will admit life in England was so easy but who wants easy? Each to their own. So if there is one thing I may ask from you is that you never come back or even for holidays and stop supporting our rugby and cricket teams and dont call yourself an expat! You have left our country so it is for you to be a child of England and be proud of it and dont claim to be a South African!
Oh by the way stop watching BBC, they show all the worste shit and change the story and make it look bad! You dont live here so you have no clue whats really happening here.
Hi Craig, thank you for your comment.
Unfortunately you have missed the point.
And thankfully I do not garner my information from a single source (the BBC). The South African news (which is assuredly as unreliable as any news source in the world) and my first-hand experience of living in South Africa, as well as the experiences of my friends and family who still live in SA, provide an excellent source of collective information. Fact.
Hi Andrea
Your article is so true. Living in London has shown me how hard South Africa made me. Friends that come to visit often comment on how happy and relaxed I look.
It is not normal to live in fear of crime. London and England do have their own issues however these issues are manageable. Yes we had the riots in 2011 which made news around the world but at the same time in South Africa there were also riots and this only made local news. Why? Because it is normality in South Africa.
I think it’s sad that we are being called cowards because we have chosen a different way of life. I’m a nursery school teacher an in South Africa I would not be able to live on my own, however here in London I get paid enough to have a good life and te government pays for me to further my studies. Hmmm. I think I’d rather be a coward and have a better standard of living.
I am proud of the Springboks, and I will cheer them on here in London. Because I can and because I’m proud of where I have come from, I have just chosen a better life for myself. Now that is normal.
Wow! You took the words out my mouth. It’s good to know that I am not the only person who finds it “un-normal” of what goes on in South Africa.
As you know, my wife and I were held up at gunpoint by 5 guys with AK47’s along with about 20 other patrons while out enjoying a “romantic” dinner on a sunday evening … this is not normal … it’s also not normal that after 3 days the police had still not arrived at the restaurant so it was a mission getting a case number from them. We’ve also both had our parent’s be involved in hijackings at their homes (supposed to be their place of safety) and then people’s reactions being simply “at least you’re alright” … I don’t understand how you could be ok after that. We also lost our beautiful friend Wayne in a hijacking at the guesthouse he was staying out while out in SA to invest in a beautiful boutique hotel. I miss him.
People in SA need to know that it’s NOT alright / normal to live in fear and that the mentality of people like Craig (commented earlier) is the height of stupidity … I hope with all my heart that he is single and without children because his “macho” attitude will get him nowhere if he ever finds himself in a situation that he deems “normal”. It’s honestly not even worth trying to humor someone like that because he is obviously WAY more South African than we are … I’d rather lose some of my heritage and be the coward knowing that the family I am responsible for is in a safer place where their lives matter.
We will keep hoping that things in South Africa finally make a turn for the better so that the people we know, and love, who still live out there will get to live the lives that they deserve.
I really hope that this piece gets read by more and more people with an open mind … it honestly feels like you’ve written what I always think to myself.
I found this article by accident and it has really hit me hard! I find myself feeling featherbrained for being part of the country that have hardened to the reality of how bad crime is here and I too have been one of the many proud South Africans that shrugs off how big a deal it really is when someone is robbed of their vehicle at gunpoint or held up in their home and threatened with murder or rape. It is really normal to hear the words At least you weren’t harmed and although I personally haven’t had a bad experience myself I cannot imagine how traumatic that would be and how it would affect me mentally. I have often wondered how I could relocate abroad with my family but unfortunately it is pretty much a dream since we only have South African passports. I wish that there was a way for us to get the people here to stand together more and figure out a way to get violence to be dealt with accordingly but it would probably serve little purpose trying to do something while our police are as good as they are, especially where the only normal thing they have lately is their open expectation of bribes, and sadly even I am responsible for this. I don’t know you but after reading what you’ve said here I would like to voice that your your two daughters will be in such gratitude to you one day for your wise decision.
Hi Andrew, thanks for your comment. I really appreciate what you say and I admire the bravery and resilience of you and so many other South Africans left to fight against the crime and corruption that permeates a beautiful country. Thank you and stay strong!
Hi Andrew,
I disagree with you about longing to have the opportunity to live abroad. I am South African and grew up in JHB. I lived in London for 8 years and both my children were born there. We moved back to South Africa for the opposite reason you say you want to leave. In London my kids grew up in a small 2 bedroom flat with a tiny balcony as their outdoor space. They went to school where they were taught to expect to receive and to be ungreatful for the opportunities life gave them. There were many cases of children growing up into gangs/ drugs and alcohol which we worried about every day! They lived an indoor life with nothing much to do but be brain washed by the TV programmes they watched.
We now live in a big house with a pool in a safe neighbourhood. Each night we enjoy the warm weather and sunset with a walk around the neighbourhood to our local park. We often take holidays to the seaside or game reserve which the kids love and we enjoy an outdoor lifestyle with braais and get togethers with friends. Now I would say our way of life or lifestyle here in SA is much better than in London. When asked why we moved back to SA its the one most significant factor. Life for us is just so much more enjoyable, free and fun here than it was in London. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
Hi Andrea,
Wise and brave words indeed.
I love South Africa as do most ex pats who have relocated elsewhere. We have enormous problems here and like you I have 2 daughters, mine both teachers. If I had the opportunity and capability, I would have emigrated as well.
I have spoken to my girls at length about their future and encouraged them to leave as soon as they are able to. The price for this on my side is that I may never see them again or see my grandchildren growing up, the blessing is knowing they are away from here.
South Africa has a culture of rape and violence against women that sickens me to the bone.
Thank you for your comments.
Ted
Hi Ted,
Thanks for reading! I am lucky that I have had the opportunity to move (colonialism has its perks) and although I love London, I miss South Africa – not the crime and bullshit but the people. The funny thing about moving country is that when you leave the place that has formed your identity you seem to hold on to things that would have otherwise been taken totally for granted – accent, boerewors, rugby… small but strangely significant. I even have African curios in my house (living next to my Tim Burton figurines :)), which I would NEVER have cared for living in SA. I guess I have learned to be grateful for my country (which will always be SA) even though I no longer want to live there.
Your girls are beautiful and I pray that they are safe. Lucky they have God to rely on and a dad who will do everything in his power to make sure of it.
A
Ted, Where do you live? Heres a stat for you: over 80% of the rapes that happen are in small communities committed by someone the victim knew or is related to. Yes occasionally these things happen to the general public who live in the suberbs but so does it happen everywhere else in the world. So unless you are a black female living in the townships or on the Cape flats, its highly unlikely to happen to you. If you want to see real violence and discrimination against women go to United Arab Emirates. Check out this site http://www.tebohotrust.org.za/ and you will see dedicated young girls teaching in the townships every week without fear. I think your ideas of the levels of crime and being scared by all the statistics have blown your perceptions of the truth way out of line. Have you ever even been into the townships or places that are so full of “crime” as you percieve? Just like anywhere else in the world there are damgerous parts and safe parts.
Jude, much like Craig (see above), you have missed the point. But I will restate: it’s about how it (crime or the lack thereof in your opinion) makes you FEEL and how that in turn affects quality of life. And it’s different for everyone.
How I feel is based on my personal experience, and irrespective of what dictates that experience you cannot tell me that how I feel is wrong. I have friends and family in SA who tell me all the time how horrible the crime is and how unsafe they feel – I don’t need to live there to be aware. Here’s what I know: I lived in Kensington, Croydon, somewhere in Roodepoort and Edenvale, I was afraid but perceived that fear to be normal. I now live in London – where there is crime, delinquency and all manner of horrendous offence – but I am not afraid. I know that terrorists may bomb the city and I may be stabbed on a train or whatever but I do not live in fear of it happening. And it’s that simple. I love South Africa but am not prepared to live there when I have the option to remove myself from the crime and corruption that unconsciously dictated my existence. My (our) life is better here.
You have a different experience and feel differently and have made a different choice. I accept what you have chosen and you need to deal with the decision made by me, and many other South Africans, to leave the country.
Andrea, Im not saying you cant feel that way, you have every right to. I just dont agree with promoting negativity and trying to make others feel the same as you. You feel safe in London and thats your perspective and relevant to you and you dont feel safe here in SA which is understandable. But its wrong to judge and generalise about a whole country based on your experience and the stories you are told from family and friends here. Its just contradictory to say its about your feelings then base it on your experiences. If the man who lost his wife and almost died in an horrific accident when he crossed the road decided never to go out of his house again as he felt scared that this would happen again, what kind of life would he live. Your decisions are based on your perceptions and you percieve to be in a better place now for you and your family but then dont try promote it and pigeon whole a whole country and talk about how bad it is here as this just damages a place you used to call home. There are many benfits to living here which can make you feel good and safe as are there in London.
Jude, my feelings are obviously based on my experiences. That’s how human beings operate. It’s not contradiction, it’s life.
I have absolutely no intention of making others feel the same way as me. And if I have swayed opinion, well, then kudos to good writing. My blog (Rant!) is about being honest and keepin’ it real, and if that is translated by you as promoting negativity (with this article in mind) then so be it. As a writer, I hope to provoke a reaction and make people feel uneasy because life is uneasy. The idea is to force people into a response, good or bad, and this article has clearly done that. Mission accomplished.
I don’t feel positive about South Africa and its future, and I am not the only South African who feels this way. I hope the country can heal; because I care and for the sake of my friends and family who still live there. If you have beef with me expressing MY opinion on MY blog, then don’t read it.
Re: unease – Unease and fear are vastly different; I am referring to thought processes and challenging the status quo. The ethos behind Rant! does not condone the mere acceptance of a fearful existence; fear of rape, murder, death etc. I choose not to live in a place that does not make me happy. I am happy here, in London. Why would I drag my family to a place and live an existence ruined by crime and corruption? My version of challenging the status quo, in this instance, is voicing an opinion that is usually spoken in whispers so as not to disturb the very frail aura of positivity that encircles the country. I knew that what I say in this article would infuriate some readers; again, so be it. If newspapers are interested in my story, clearly the topic is relevant and my thoughts valid.
This argument is really just unproductive at this point. So I am stopping right here. Feel free to have the last word.
Wow, this whole discussion is making me feel uncomfortable. This is what it is all about feelings! Why are we trying to explain our feelings… These are everyone’s right and if anything it is individual, situation and experience made.
I am sitting by the pool in the sun and getting more wrinkles than I would have got if I stayed in London but I am happier! That is my feeling and differs from others who choose not to live here for there own reasons. That I respect and understand.
We choose where we want to live because of how it makes us feel and I respect those who left South Africa and are celebrating the change and are feeling safe and happy!
There is no right or wrong answer when it comes down to how we feel- When teaching history I told my learners that what ever answer they give to a question if it is provided with valid facts then it would be right! This applies to all you good people- you are all right and you have all made the right decisions for you! This you can only change if stepping inside each others lives and experience those persons feelings!
Peace is only achieved by knowing we have made the right decision for our loved ones. One we doubted when returning at the beginning but we have had a good experience so far and I am feeling happy… Sorry that sounds like a child!
Peace xxx
Hi Trysie.
I absolutely agree!!!
Yes but then keep your feelings to yourself instead of trying to promote your ideas and negativity and disrespect a whole country and those who have chosen differently.
Oh Dictator Jude, I absolutely will not keep my feelings to myself. The ‘disrespect’ bit is entirely your opinion, which you are as free to express as anyone else in this world – including me.
Andrea, thank you.
This post completely expresses what majority of South Africans (I don’t care what Jude cares to believe) feel.
I have been justifying the crime, and downright savagery, in this country for years. We keep holding out, hoping and praying that things will get better. But they just don’t.
Jude, I’m not sure where you live – but you should thank the UK for enabling you to save all those GBR’s. Average South Africans CANNOT walk in their neighbourhood, let alone to a park. Perhaps you’re in a fancy estate (don’t we all wish), but those of us who live in NORMAL neighbourhoods, with AVERAGE salaries, are unable to do the things you mentioned. We live day to day, praying that we don’t become another crime statistic. And while it’s so lovely that your children are basking in the warm sun, and cooling down in the swimming pool, I guarantee that you will not stop them from studying/working/living elsewhere when they’re of age (you’ll probably be the one pushing them). As sad as it is, they do not have a future here – you are just unwilling to admit it. Weather and big houses are not enough Jude…time for a wake up call.
I do not want to leave SA, but it is unfair to deprive my family of a NORMAL life. The way of life here is far from normal Jude – Andrea is 100% correct. But it is time to go. Having my nephew ask why we can’t walk around and trick-or-treat, or just pull into the drive way while waiting for the gate to open, or why we have the same type of security around our homes as prisons do, is not NORMAL. It is sad. We are prisoners in our own homes, locking our bedroom doors, praying to make it through the night – that is the reality Jude.
I have never looked down on people who leave SA but I know many people who do. It’s that attitude of “oh, so I love my kids less if I decide to stay?”. Unfortunately, that is what it’s leading to. Our families’ futures need to come first, even if it means a little discomfort on our part. Ask anyone who grew up in Zimbabwe how things progressed, and they’ll tell you “just like they have in South Africa”. Don’t you think they would have left sooner if they knew…..
Hi there Andrea,
Many thanks for the article.
Myself and my wife have been in the UK for 8 years now. We are considering a move back to SA once we have acquired our British Citizenship.
Europe and more specifically the UK is no longer ‘the land of milk and honey’. When I moved from South Africa I hated it so much but over time, I am now glad to say that I am very proud to be South African.
When I first arrived, it was amazing. The countryside, the pubs, the smell, the people and even the weather….it was all new and it truely felt like I had made the right decision.
I have never held a permanent position since moving to the UK and this is not due to the lack of trying. I have unfortunately had to take what ever job I could and this has had a severe impact regarding employment. I have been fortunate enough to have gained some fantastic Banking experience in the UK, a opportunity I would not have had in SA. But due to the economic downturn across Europe and most of the world, the job market in the UK is now saturated with nearly 2.5million people unemployed. I have not drawn a salary since January 2013 and I have applied for over 200 jobs and only received a response from about 15 of those positions. So employment is a major issue in the UK.
Having worked in London, I have to admit, some of the rudest most arrogant people I have met are Saffers (not all of them but most of them). Generally, people living in London do not realise that there are other counties surrounding them. They are so self absorbed and its all about what you own (latest piece of tech, newest fashion etc).
The people in the UK irritate the living hell out of me. Apparently this is the birth country of William Shakespeare but their English is horrific. I’ve got a Centurion, Pretoria English accent and I have had English folk say to me that I have a ‘posh’ accent???! I think not oke! Again, people here in the UK are very self absorbed and even though racism is not blatant, I have noticed the the English are actually very racist people. I’ve had people tell me ‘get on a plane and go back to your country’ and I’m white.
Yes, I cannot deny it. There are some very positive factors about living in the UK but Europe is on a slow decline and it is going to get worse before it gets better. It’s expected that the UK and Europe will only start seeing growth from about 2022-2026. Salaries will stay the same, tax will go up (tax in the UK is ridiculous), living expenses will carry on increasing and trying to stay afloat becomes more and more difficult. What also grinds me is the Benefits system….I am paying for some lazy arse, fat, drug taking, vodka drinking, child pumping person to sit on their fat arses and do nothing but live off the tax payer. They have not worked a day in their lives yet they believe that the government owes them money…..huh….go figure.
I am not going to state the obvious about how crumby the weather is…….we are lucky to have 1 week of sun during summer….lovely…NOT!
Yes, there is a lot to consider and I will most certainly take everything into consideration but I can’t help but think, ‘I have family and friends in SA and they are making it work’. But I am under no illusions about the reality of living in SA. Crime is very real and unemployment is a massive issue.
There are pro’s and con’s about both South Africa and the UK. I want less of a ‘my flat screen is bigger than yours’ and more of a lifestyle.
Cheers,
Brennan
Living in SA has its pros and cons. As so any Country in the world. You use yo hear bad stuff hapening to someone through a friend of a friend. But then it comes closer, you start hearing something happened to a relitive or friend and then it happens to you. Crime sucks we live in prisons every day bugler bars steel safety gates pay security companies to keep you safe because the response time for our police is up to…. and still they manage to brake in come intrude your private space and if you are lucky you do not wake up and survive unlile so many others. You say a prayer each night so God will keep you and your family safe and go to sleep with a 9 mm under the pillow.
These things did not use to bother me as I became use to it as normal. But we have a little girl now and I can not imagine how things will be for her growing up. I do not want yhis life for her. I do not want to leave, but will not be able to live if something should happen to her
Hi, after reading this post I felt compelled to agree wholeheartedly with every single word in it! I was a South African for 35 years and am now a proud New Zealander. As much as I love my family and SA as a whole, I could never accept that violent way of life as my “normal”. I don’t voice my opinion to my family any more, most of whom still live in SA, as they don’t receive perceived criticism well, not from someone who has chosen to leave SA in any event! New Zealand has retaught me that life is precious and that violent crime is unacceptable in any way or form. I have lived in New Zealand for 10 years now and not for a second have I regretted the upheaval of leaving SA for this country – the benefits myself and my daughters continue to reap far outweigh the downside of emigation. Carol
Im British living in South Africa for 23 years and for my time in this country, ive had a good life. During this time however, ive seen some immense changes mostly ones that leave a vast number of South Africans either damaged or poorer. Im not going to add a thread here that’s provocative to this tender debate but rather to add a different though process.
I come from a smallish town 3 hours drive North of London. From my perspective areas outside London offer a much more relaxed lifestyle and far greater value for money when it comes to buying property. This then deals with having gardens for children to play in and there is less stress not having to earn a higher wage to pay for an inadequate property that’s not really suitable for children. My county is Derbyshire and it has some beautiful countryside for walking, riding bikes, horse riding and camping. With regards to crime, mostly its petty theft or domestic violence.
The point im making that England is far bigger than London alone and the beauty of South Africa (without the violence and crime) can be achieved within a short drive from the Capital City. OK, there isn’t as much sun but there are many airports and airlines than can take you to the Mediterranean for only a few pound.
I too have lived this un-normal life now for too long and im going home to walk outside alone during the day and night, not lock myself in a fortress and be able to afford a lot more than I can here !
Namibia is the best
My daughter is in Capetown with my there young grandchildren living with her husband who comes from there. They went over supposedly for one year to help with his dads business six years later they are there. I miss them so much and you are so right when I visit for there months at a time I do not feel safe. There was lady and her downs son attacked at knife point outside my daughter house which I may add has electric fencing and burglar bars prison if you like . I used to walk to the top of the road to meet her from where she worked my daughter stopped me from doing that straight away . Where I live in the north of England I live on my own walk out anywhere day or night and never feel afraid but I do in south Africa. I fear for my daughter an grandchildren two of them are girls it’s is a lovely country and although I miss my family terribly I could not live there as I do in England . I have the sea within in walking distance and the countryside too I want my family back I am always very wary when in southafrice but can sit in my garden looking at my iPad without high fences and security which my daughter commented on when speaking to her on Skype that you can do that here. I think she has forgotten the safety of her home in England.
Australia new Zealand Canada are normal ,well done Andrea your kids will thank you one day tony_together@hot mail.com
I came across your blog because I googled “scared to go back to South Africa”. Needless to say everything you wrote rings true for me. I’ve been living overseas for 2 years and have been amazed by how it feels to not be scared all the time. Perhaps fear is a choice – and some people choose to not be affected by it – but I am not that lucky. I am affected by it. I want my baby girl to feel safe. We didn’t plan to leave SA – only to follow an opportunity for a few years. Now I feel like I would rather stay in Europe – but my husband still wants to go home again. I’m not sure how it will all turn out.
I am Irish and living in South AfricaI I woke up the other might and saw lights outside my room a gang on the way to rob the house next door steal a car, kidnap the security guard and throw him out of the moving vehicle they found a baby in a plastic bag next door to us a few weeks ago most days I want to bang my head against a wall we had gates and a fence put in that cost us 600 euro after it rained they didnt work when i send my car to the garage it comes back with keys broken the next time cables are hanging out of the engine the qualifications authority can’t make a phone call to see if my degree included honours so the university refuses to except me to do my Masters the local hospital is constantly in the paper for mysterious deaths of new borns I am a teacher and can’t work for the government until I have permanent residency even though I am married to a South African and I just needed to let that all out before I burst
I totally agree and have much the same experience and feelings about coming here. And I really can’t stand the dumb asses that call leaving South Africa cowardly. Moving continents takes some balls, and they all try to rationalize the situation there and use their own cowardice as an excuse to stay in their comfort zones, sticking their heads in the sand hoping nothing will happen to them. Us that made the move are the ones are truly brave.
If you or a member of your family have never experienced “home invasion”, multiple robbery, hi jacking or violent crime, you will not be aware of the long term mental damage and changes to your outlook it causes. My daughter has had the lot, guns to her head, being alone in the house and tied up by robbers while the house was ransacked and other incidents that I would rather not mention in this post. SA is a stunning country and has a lot to offer, the people are by and large friendly, make a plan where necessary and of course it takes a lot to beat our weather. You can have a very varied enviroment just by changing provinces and you can live what I would term a larger lifestyle compared to somewhere in UK or Europe. If you have never travelled to other countries, then the SA life is all you will know, travelling broadens your horizens and visiting other countires makes you realise that you can have a different lifestyle. Moving to another country is a big decision and anyone in SA who touts the word “coward” has not really thought about the reasons for someone moving to another country very carefully. The first time we visited the USA, we thought we had arrived in Heaven, it too is a stunning country and you can have whatever lifestyle you chose, in saying this, I would not personally like to live there. UK, yes the weather is not wonderful and you will live a smaller life in terms of material stuff, however it is such an interesting well organised place. There are loads of things to do and wonderful places to visit. Like any first world country, you would have to get used to officialdom and adopt a healthy respect for the law, the authorities apply the law there and will nail you for what we would consider trivial offences. This is how it should be. My belief is that young people especially white people have more options in terms of getting work or starting a business. We have massive problems here with uncontrolled breeding, poverty, corruption and crime. If you think corruption is bad here, try Italy or numerous other countries. Although I don’t vote for the ANC, you have to recognise that they have put in place some good things. Our tax collection system is well structured and recognised by many countries to be a leading example of how it should be done. Our banking sector is well run and we did not suffer the fate of many banks around the world when the crunch came. We do have some very clever people here, as a basic example, the USA has had cable TV for decades, our people in SA came up with the Mnet system controlled over the “air’, other countries consult with us on our coal to fuel technology, we have designed products for the military sector which were well received in the first world, if you think about it, there is a long list of achievements from SA. There are huge problems to be resolved here, whether its possible and how long it will take to solve them is up for debate. As a last word on people leaving SA, as an example, there is not much scope for musicians in SA compared to the US and Europe, why would you call someone a coward for going to another country to pursue a career? To end, I will tell you about a good experience I had. My place of work is not in what would be called a good part of the city, on leaving the office, I saw with dismay that one of my tyres was flat. Opened the boot to get the spare wheel out to change the tyre, within minutes, a black African male came up to me and said would I like him to change the wheel for me, with no request for money or reward?. Living with the sort of crime mentioned in previous posts, my immediate thought was ” What’s next?”. The guy was pleasant, changed the wheel for me, accepted my offered reward and went on his way. Must tell you this lifted my spirits, it was preconceived experiences that made me initially think bad things about him.
Living in security complexes with laser beams, barbed wires, bars on the windows, armed private response teams is not normal. It is in South Africa.
Fear of crime is oh so very real. Watching your back wherever you go, scared to stop at traffic lights. Scared to go out at night, scared even in your own homes when you hear a noise.
This kind of atmosphere eats away at you as a person. It slowly hardens you on the inside until you become a product of your environment.
Saying but SA has nice weather, big houses and pool doesnt cut it.
I suspect if i said i people should go live in Jaurez, Mexico, where violence is everywhere but on the flip side there is plenty of sun, youll have a nice big house with a pool, and your money gets you further, many would think these priorities of “quality of Life” are slightly warped.
Well said. The people that call you a coward have probably never experienced normal. That’s their problem and will be until they do experience feeling free. If they ever have the courage to leave or even visit a peaceful country for longer than a quick holiday, I am sure their attitude change. Until then, I nod knowingly, when ex-South Africans are accused of being a cowards.
Yeah we do have crime. But I have my whole family here and my fily mean everything to me , so how do you just up and leave. Especially where our parents are old and will never relocate. It is difficult. But I still think we live a good life here in Sourh Africa. I get to see my family every day. Thanks
Andrea, you do know that what you are writing about is taboo ? People in SA do not want to hear it…period. The games drives are there and the mountain is beautiful.
I was involved in an unfortunate incident in 2000, and left the country. The pure abandonment of accountability is mind boggling, from the president down.
I don’t know many people who don’t have a horror story. Most say what you mention…we were lucky !! I say yes, that time maybe.
My good friends in SA and me in the USA try not talk about it anymore because it ends up in an argument.
In SA , as in the rest of Africa, if you have money to afford some decent schooling, private security, international holidays or a local holiday in a safe environment, then yes, SA is not a bad place to live. For the other 49 million, things are tough. Real tough. The wealthy cannot see it from behind the 12 ft high walls, and quite frankly do not want to.
In apartheid days, the rest of the world and a lot of white SA’s along with every black person fought a long hard fight to rid the injustices of apartheid…..today however , when people like you and me and a lot of others who bring these issues to light, you get labelled a naysayer, a sell out etc etc.
WHY, WHY, is this the case. WHY are people not embracing the fact that some people do love SA so much, but cannot live in fear so leave, and want to keep the current injustices in the spotlight . Surely everyone can see the crime in SA? Why would you justify it with beautiful game drives etc.
We as SA’ s are living through a big part of history right now, and it so sad that we cannot have a unified opinion on this issue.
I live in the US and Bahamas, work in the private yachting industry which has become very popular with white kids from SA. They are coming here in their droves, most have never been on a boat before, have no love of the sea, yet they fly in here by the hundreds each month . I employ these people and get to chat to them, and quite frankly know exactly why they are here. So why would someone as in a post above, quite vehemently scream about us that left , must not support rugby etc. ?
SA’ s need to learn to stand together. We are an angry nation of people, but so capable and collectively capable of making a difference that can change everything back home.
And to all the people who will shout me down….I love my country, watch every rugby game, only hire SA’s, buy biltong here, hang out with fellow SA’s. Come vist and you will see why :)
I feel so sad you you all as no one should have to live in fear. The rest of us don’t know just how lucky we are. Paul I wish you and your family happiness and safety where ever your travels take you. Amen
I don’t know why people always point out how beautiful South Africa is when they try and justify why they’d rather stay. What keeps us here is about so much more than long white beaches and jagged mountains. What makes South Africa beautiful is the people. Yes, there is the minority who inflict unimaginable pain and horrors on the rest of us on a daily basis, and yes, we have learnt to live with it, because there is not currently much of an alternative. But for the most part South Africans of every walk and race are friendly, resilient, warm, welcoming and ALIVE. I have been privileged enough to see a lot of the world, and I remember sitting in the Mugg & Bean at ORT after a trip to one of those “perfect” overseas cities that has been totally overrun with South Africans fleeing the country for greener pastures and thinking how there was more energy and life in that one little coffee shop than in the entire city I had just left behind. Choosing to live in South Africa is not just about the sunshine. It’s not because we don’t know that it’s coming apart at the seams. It’s about the people whose lives we touch every day and about knowing that if we leave and take our money and our job creation with us, those people will be one step closer to becoming angry and desperate criminals. We stay not because we are cowards, but because we love this country and its people and we hope that we can do our little part to make it better for those who will never have the opportunity to leave. And those of you have chosen to leave, please stop slagging us off in an effort to feel better about your choices. Rather tell the world about what we have to offer, get the tourists and the investors here and do your little bit to help make things better for the ones you left behind. It is, after all, not just about you. And whether you like to admit it or not, your leaving has removed jobs and money from SA and made things more difficult for everyone you walked away from.
Now the opinion of a non SA’er but married to one that moved from Belgium from the age of 8 with her parents till her twenties.
Ok, I’m not natively English speaking so please forgive my errors. I might as well type in Flemish as most of you will understand as well ;-)
What I don’t understand is that most of SA’ers that would like to leave the country would like to go for an English speaking country. Ok, might make it easier in the beginning but no hair on my head would make me move to the UK. There are other nice places in Europe where I would think hard working people are and would feel welcome.
I went to SA twice. The first time it was for work which is supposed to be in a nice place… Sandton .. well like most said, nice big houses, pools etc .. but I didn’t feel safe for a moment.
During the weekend we went 400km up North to the lowveld which I thought to be more secure in like no more prison bars in front of windows and inside etc … but I was wrong.
Last year we went on holiday with our 8 year old son and stayed over at friends in the lowveld. We had a fantastic time but to always look out for everything that could go wrong was just …. plain wrong and not, what’s the right word, ‘human’.
To be honest, fantastic country, most part lovely people. I would move in an instant if it wasn’t for everything some people think is just part of life.
Here I can leave my car open at night .. standing here on the open driveway.. and be almost 100% sure that nothing happened to it the next morning. There are no bars in front of windows nor electric fencing in the garden. I can walk on the street to the store 1km further on like most people and nothing will happen to me.
Yes, there is crime here, crazy people, drunk driving, theft and violence but lets say that if you live in a normal, did not write safe, neighbourhood you will likely never be a part of the stats.
It has nothing to do with being a coward if you try to defend your family or future from these things happening. My wife loves SA, so do I, but family and safety are number 1. How can you fight back crime if the government or police is not In charge of these things or not willing to do so?
Hi everyone,
Well, I came here because I googled “should I stay or go back to SA’.
I am not South African, but I am married to one and we have a little girl who has 4. I lived in SA for just 4 years and frankly I never had any bad experience. Now I came to Canada, and got a “shitty”job and got my wife and daughter Visas, I start rethinking about my decision.
I understand that every country has its prons and cons and I understand that the whole point of this thinking is my daughter. but then i remember how she is happy there, how from a little we can make a lot, how i use to go home and take her for a bike ride in Mithel park, how we use to go fishing and swimming in the ocean, how we use to gather bu her grandparents house for a braii. I think she is happy and I was happy too. yes sometimes I was scared but frankly not all the time, or lets say I managed to live with it, and yes i have my wife’s family who got robbed.
Here in Canada, summer weather is good, but winter is depressing, no where to go and nothing to do, all the time you have to do is live like a rat.
I always wanted to come to Canada, now I’m here i dont know what i want anymore, i dont want to make a decision that i regret later and I dont want to take that happiness of my daughter.
im just confused, so confused that dont know what to do, I just prayed to god to help me make the right decision, or lets say the better decision.
Hi, My name is Neo and I am a white female.
I am also 13 years of age and I came across this site while researching about the living conditions in South Africa. My family and I are getting ready to move back to SA after 10 years of living in the UK. I know what it is like to live in South Africa, so you can be assured that I am not talking a load of rubbish. The only reason I am writing on this site is because I thought you people might want to hear about the situation from a different view point (a childs).
Everyday I go to school at a state school ranked one of the 20th best of all the schools in the UK; and everyday I am astounded by the lack of enthusiasm to learn and the “i couldn’t care less” attitude worn by so many of the children. The children hear think that getting an education is a Given when in fact it is a Privledge. After learning about Malala (the girl who got shot for standing up for woman’s rights to and education) many of my “friends” where not inspired at this girls courage, instead they were astounded by the fact that she WANTED to go to school. Half of them don’t even want to be there.
Not just that the kids also have no respect for their elders. In PE a girl told my teacher to “shut up saying that i’m doing it wrong.” and then went on to call her a “stupid all bag that shouldn’t be teaching” so Yeah great attitude for school.
Another thing is the lifestyle for children is also incredibly restricted. I live in a quiet little village voted the best place in the UK to live. Yes, the best place to live: no crime no hang out places where children can be noisy , a place where you can safely die of boredom. But where I used to live Cape Town, the children hang out at the beach not outside the one stop waiting for an old / irresponsible person to buy them fags and booze. And yes that has actually happened where somebody asked my mum to buy them both alcohol and cigarettes.
Another thing, sports and school spirit. Growing up in SA most of you will remember that awesome moment where you compete for your school in front of everyone or when you watched your school win the rugby match, well that doesn’t happen in England. Unless you are physically doing the sport then you wont know about it because they would rather be brain washed at home infront of the TV. Not that many people know about the sport because almost no-one wants to do sport. In SA there are A teams B teams C teams and extras who didn’t make a team but would love to compete.
So, if your’e kids away from South Africa to the UK then sure do it. Its your decision and i’m not trying to preach to you adults, and I respect that you know more than me on certain things (although I do know about apartheid and I am aware of the crime figures). Just remember that you are taking them to a completely different place where adults are stupid, sport is stupid, other cultures are stupid and the question asked the day Homework is due in is “Have you done the Homework?” not “How did you do with the homework?”.
So yeah thats all I really have to say.
Hi
Went to live in NZ…what a %$#@hole….crap houses that cost millions and freezing weather. Ignorant people and hostile maoris. Substandard medicare and employers that look down on staff who are well qualified. The place is just one big farm and okay for a holiday…but nothing beats South Africa. Sure there is crime and huge unemployment…but this is also the case in NZ and most of the world. Give be joburg anytime.
I am South African. My husband and i are lucky to have good jobs and our kids go to good schools. Sadly however we think our future may be elsewhere. The UK sounds like a safer option despite some of it’s drawbacks. It’s scary to think of such a big move but I don’t think it’s easier waiting til you’re older. Safety is a problem in SA, and we have just adjusted to feeling defensive all the time. We want to live without that great big weight on our shoulders 24/7. To each his own, don’t judge people for deciding to stay or leave.
I came over to New Zealand in with my family in 1999, when I was 13. I’m Afrikaans-speaking and a very proud South African. None of us truly wanted to leave South Africa, but my parents could see the corruption where they worked (govt) so they decided to get out while they had the chance. We were so sad to leave and have definitely had to get used to a lower standard of living over here. We had a gorgeous big house with a pool, new cars, annual holidays, you name it. Even now my mother still talks about going back to SA if she didn’t have us “kids” (we’re all adults now).
Even though NZ wouldn’t have been my choice of country to move to (I love Aussie), I am so so thankful that my parents took the risk and didn’t let people’s negative comments stop them. They gave up their good jobs in SA to ensure us kids have a future. I finished school here, got my citizenship, went to uni, bought a house and now I’m looking at moving overseas. The world is my oyster as I have so many more options here. We’re not well-off by any means, but we’re SAFE.
I miss SA every single day and if anyone asks me where I’m from I, without fail, will say “Cape Town”. BUT I am not willing to live in a country where I have to lock my doors when I’m home, be afraid to go out at night or where I have to have bars on my windows and doors. In NZ I am free to do what I please, when I please. Crime and murders happen, but to a much much lesser extent and they actually make front page news and people are out-raged. Cops don’t carry guns and you get in serious shit for drink driving, speeding, etc. The welfare and health systems are 1st world and travelling on my NZ passport is so much easier than a SA one!
Well done Andrea for doing what you believe is best for your family. We may be called cowards, but we can live our lives without daily fear. All we can do is pray for those left back in SA. The water is slowly getting warmer and warmer and by the time they realise the water is boiling it will be too late to get out. Bless them.
my name is Bongani, i am black S.A is my birth country..i understand how lot of you [whites] feel about my country. All the statistic that you are talking about mybe true but i dont simpatize with all of you as much as you wont. If you want to leave this country, then do so, but dont call yourself South african cos you are not, infact you are a South african by birth. I am a South african…yes you are a coward, always go were you can dominate and have fun and nice things..we dont need you.stayy werever you are..i love my country and the is nothing you can say to change that…
This article really hit home for me. I cannot believe how bad things have become in South Africa. I never thought that I would feel more at home in New York than in SA; especially since I got here “accidentally” (marrying an American) But that’s the way it is today.
Wow…just wow. Its hard to find the right words to make everybody equally happy…thats downright impossible. I was born and raised in SA, lived there untill i was 19. Thank God my Father was a german citizen that Immigrated to SA in the 60’s, so i was granted a German Passport as a minor. We lived on a farm by the Crocodile River, in the early years all was good. But then I dont know with what age it started….we would come home and the windows were smashed in, the cupboards and drawers were all ruffled through..it was as if a tornado had gone through the house, but at least they were gone by the time we got there….and it happened 3-4 times a year. And when I was 17, we again, came home, only this time we were being expected. I think its what you would call an !Armed Robbery”..we were tied up, my mom and dad were beaten over the heads with a gun…. my mom made them tie me up to her, so that i wouldnt be alone (i think thats the reason why we werent raped)…the tortured us, our dogs..and if the neighbour hadnt come (because he heard the siren from the alarm), we would be dead…definately. And you know the strangest thing is….they didnt steal anything…not one cent !
After trying to get back to a normal life … i couldnt sleep there anymore, everytime the dogs even growled, i was awake…WIDE awake… after a while I had actually started to wish that they had infact killed me, because the permanent fear was worse…and it got worse and worse. In the end, i fled…”yes I am a coward, a proud one at that. I have one life…my goal is to make the most of it, to enjoy it….and for me, eventhough south african blood runs through my veins, and i do get homesick alot, i wont go back. My parent remained in SA, my father even sold the house and moved into town, bought a little townhouse, they were attacked at night, in their bed, my mom managed to get out…but unfortunately my dad didnt. They dragged him into the garage, doused him with oil, electro shocks, beat the living crap out of him…and if that still doesnt send chills down your spines…they even Drilled holes in his head with a drilling machine… and left him there to his own fate….this didnt happen in minutes..it took hours…and not once in all that time, did the police come over to see what happened…no sign of justice. My father was transported to hospital in coma, wich he did not recover from, he died 18 days later on multiple organ failure… :( … untill this day, there has not been an arrest…. nothing..
So all you PROUD south africans…tell me what should i go back for ? I cannot help it that I was born in SA , I cannot help it that my “great (great?) grandparents were a part of the Apartheid (dunno if they were), and i still cannot understand why our generations are being punished for something we didnt do/ didnt decide on. ( I am not talking about white i am not talking about black, or Coloureds….I am talking about HUMAN BEINGS…..) Under the line thats what we are, humans…alot of us dont act accordingly, but u know what, regardless of the amount of money we make, or riches we hoard (legally or illegaly) when we die, our coffins are all the same size…and the worms dont give a damn either.
Every one has a right to decide where they want to live and how….and NO one has the right to interfere…everyone has their backpack to carry….its no use bitching and moaning about others and expats and bla bla…no one has walked a mile in anothers shoes… I do not have children, I am married, if i had had children , and was living in south africa, i would have put heaven and hell in movement to get my kids out of there… Here where I live, the children play ball on the streets…the people go out and forget to lock their front doors…
You guys cant tell me that if you could afford to leave and live a “NORMAL” life where ever it may be…you would choose to stay locked in your HIGH profiled – Security Guards, electric fenced Fort Knoxes…where u sleep with one eye open and a finger on the trigger of the gun under your pillow….
C’mon…..who u kidding !
I am glad that the Author of this story had the guts to stand up and speak out what everyone thinks deep down inside…but due to “political correctness” wouldnt say !
Have a great evening all of you
where ever u may be…
I must say I find the rather rude, irrational hate and vitriol aimed towards the author (Andrea) rather interesting. I am often reminded by expats about the wonderful landscape, nature, weather etc, etc. I’m sorry but landscapes, nature and climate do not protect my family, provide opportunity, safety and future for my children, or put food on the table – and that is the point. Its not about me. I am responsible to my family, my children. It is my duty to provide the best future and opportunity for them, not satisfy my own sense of nationality! Nobody is going to tell me where to raise my child. I will accept no condemnation from an irrational idiot who claims I’m not “up to a challenge.” (If you think I’m not up to a challenge – I served as a US Army Infantryman in Afghanistan). Hey pal! – go bloody challenge yourself and your own children. By the way i will call myself an “expat, ” “South African” or whatever the bloody hell I feel like – You do not get to decide. Do not tell me that things are just as bad in the US or Europe. I have lived in both and do not fear walking around alone at night. I can leave my door unlocked on my house or car where I live. All my American and European friends that I have made over the years are all alive. 7 of my friends that I grew up with in SA are DEAD!! four friends of mine have been stabbed, another 3 assaulted and I cannot even count those whose houses have been burglarized. My idea of a future for my children does not include living behind barbed-wire fences and electronic security measure (If you are lucky enough to afford them!). A close family member of mine was shot but survived. 2 ladies that I know have been raped. So tell me how is this supposed to convince me that things are just as good in SA as they are in the USA or the UK, Canada, Australia, NZ and Europe? How am I supposed to take SA politics serious when the elections are rigged, the ANC are calling for “Land Reform” and idiots like Malema and the EFF are running around? So you mention the dole in the UK – at least the dole has a slight semblance of efficiency – unlike the SA government’s ANC party crony system and political welfare! A small trickle of largely outnumbered whites and educated people trickling back is not or will not ever be enough – it’s a battle of numbers, and you are loosing! Thirty from now the last white man will kicked out unceremoniously, just as they are in Zimbabwe, then we’ll talk again about
I left SA twice…once before the free elections and once after. Both times it was to chase the “Green Back”. Had nothing to do with crime or political situation. I have gone home regularly and do miss SA. My wife is Venezuelan and loves SA (yup their crime is worse than ours so for her it’s not too bad). She wants us to move to SA but she has only seen SA through holiday eyes. I on the other hand have been robbed, had 2 cars stolen, been car jacked, my mother was pistol whipped…should I go on. For those morons who think it’s cowardly to leave SA…indeed you are exactly that…a moron! Giving your family a better education, security, access to good reliable emergency services etc. is far from being a coward. You are probably just sower that you can’t do the same for yours and that you have to live with it all and call it normal. I would love to move back to SA but hey, I’d rather have the best of both worlds and live in eutopia (our little island in the Caribbean) and holiday in SA regularly. I will always be South African and proud to be so.
Well written. No, we are NOT cowards if we leave this dangerous place. On the contrary, we have done the right thing.
Yes, we are proudly South Africans because we support the ‘normal things’, sport, food, people, nature etc. But we do not tolerate the violence. I come home to SA, once a year and every year, I hear new reports of friends, family and acquaintances who have been subjected to some sort of crime. It is a rare thing to see a friend who has not experienced crime. I live in a country where I do not need to lock my front door: My car can remain in the driveway, unlocked: My children can safely ride their bikes at anytime & any place: When I shop, I can leave my trolley with handbag in it and go & fetch milk. Why can’t like be like that in SA? No, we cant blame apartheid for everything!
hi
Your experience is very similar to mine. My parents had already emigrated to italy while i finished my 4 yr degree. In that time i developed epilepsy and panic attacks (at the time attributed to the epilepsy) but when i finished my degree and came over to italy, my panic attacks vanished almost instantly and im currently off my epilepsy medication for 3 years. I fully attribute these problems to my level of stress in south africa! What we consider normal in south africa is an extremely stressfull state of constant awareness and fear!
After 8 years in italy, i still lock my car door before i put my seatbelt on, and if I hear footsteps behind me, i immediately grab my handbag (some habits die hard) but i also started riding a bike (which i had not done since i was 10!) I walk to the shops, and I dont live in fear! I could never move back. I did take my husband to see the best of sa on our honeymoon, but his largest complaint was that we went everywhere in the car! XD even to the spar 50m up the road!
Anyway, my point was that I totally agree-whats “Normal” for south africans is not normal in the rest of the world, and i am incredibly grateful for that! We surely have’nt found a utopia-every country has their problems (Im lucky enough to have Berlusconi!) but Ive decided that italy’s problems i can live with-south africa’s, I cant!
The Problem is simple, I’ll keep itas short as possible..
Government is totally incapable of doing EVEN the simple things right,
Their 20 years has slowly degenerated the basis of great infrastructure and idealistic governance to that of a thirsty mule.
The aggression of the people as stated by many above, can be seen anywhere
in society,.. This is a direct result of the tensions and the space between us HERE!
The lack of integrated/sound policing has long left us!
We cannot allow these muppets to keep placing MUPPETS in high positions,
the majority of which are under-qualified and money hungry as they ride the gravy train.
Punishment is not severe enough!! for the rapist nor for the corrupt!!!!!!!!!!!
On the other hand, I have a great time here, I dont live in fear, I believe you become a victim if you have a fearfull attitude about it all, you certainly gotta have a tough skin!
I hope that someday the brains of the globe come together and sort things out for our MUPPETShere! Who knows, maybe the Chinese!!
Hello, when I started reading this blog my reaction was ‘you stupid expat…good riddance’. But as I read the comments, agreeing and disagreeing with both sides, I realised that I am lucky to live and want to stay here.
It does annoy me when expats get on the ‘SA is dangerous’ bandwagon and yes it is..if that is all you are faced with and all you see, by George, how could it not be!
I am a coloured 30-something married with two small kids living in a middle class area (read…no pool). I understand that ‘unsafe feeling’ I feel it to…occasionally.
BUT we don’t have a front wall, electric fencing, ADT and only have burglars downstairs and for the 90% of the time I feel safe and so do most people in our area. My kids play in the park, I know my neighbours, I know people that stay in other streets. We take afternoon walks, walk to the shops and occasionally the kids play out front.
I have experienced a smash and grab and it made me so angry I jumped out and started running after the guy – fight or flight I suppose!!! I have witnessed two separate attempted street robberies but people around helped them out. I have friends that were hijacked in their yard and their kids were with them. Others that had run ins with taxi drivers and had their homes broken into, many times – so I understand what you are saying.
We have a different kind of violence and I am not trying to romanticise it, and to quote you “Something awful could happen to me on the streets of London (Jozi for me) but I do not live in fear of this unforeseen event.
How did I get to my moment of clarity… when I got to Brennan Woollands comment and read “I have family and friends in SA and they are making it work” He is so right!
Stephen Smyth is correct , “Andrea, you do know that what you are writing about is taboo? People in SA do not want to hear it…period.” I think this is because when you ‘complain’ about SA from your foreign home we get upset because we are here…making it work!
I have lived and travelled overseas, and understand the appeal to make another country your home. I have friends and family (and my parents) that live in other countries for various reasons and the one common thread I have noticed and read here is that expats are the most patriotic and band together in their foreign countries doing very South African things…ironic hey!
I hope you and all expats (for whatever reason they left) come home one day!
Great article. I can’t help but laugh at some of the responses.
My fellow South Africans are quick to get their backs up but forget all about this when violence & corruption hit the headlines or when Malema does something entertaining or controversial. I hope the same people don’t complain when focus on the quota system in sports gets hilighted or pushed again or when the Rand keeps getting weaker or when crime arrives in your area. Let’s not mention farm murders or the numerous emails & petitions I receive regarding farm killings…please stop complaining about these things, or the name changes of towns & streets or when the president uses a lot of money to build a nice home. It’s all worth it as long as you have some sunshine (assuming that Australia, Argentina, Canada & the UK has no sunshine at all).
Let’s not be narrow minded and think that South Africans only emigrate to the UK. Australia/Canada/Argentina/USA/NZ etc all have plenty of space (big houses & pools), beauty, sunshine and most importantly…South Africans.
We’re quick to judge others for leaving or to get angry when they highlight their reasons for leaving, but we forget about this when it happens to us or someone or something we care for.
The wealthy South Africans will not realise what goes on in our townships or in areas where people can’t afford to have armed response, secure compounds or even just a dog. Where unemployment is way higher than the UK or Europe. Cause this doesn’t affect them. People who can’t afford to go to the UK to try and have a better, safer life.
Just saying, don’t diss Andrea for expressing her opinion when we are just as opinionated about the bad things happening here every day!
I came across this by accident, I think posted by a South African friend(who lived for a long time in the UK and now in Canada and in Florida). I’ve never been to South Africa, beautiful as I am sure it is….I wouldn’t have set foot there under apartheid, and now the constant reports of rape, murder, houses ringed with wire etc etc. is very off-putting. What does upset me are the unpleasant ramblings of one or two of the bloggers who have moved to the UK for security. This country is every bit as beautiful, and very much safer: yes, we have problems, especially after the recession. London is not the UK. I can’t imagine where one o
f them went to school….but all I can say is that I have been involved in education one way or another most of my working life and that must have been the school from hell, because it is NOT like that here or anywhere that I have been associated with. As for racism, yes , there is still some racism, but for a South African to DARE to comment on that after SA’s background amazes me. We are aware of our faults and are trying to improve things. . The weather…oh, pardon me while I yawn….it;s very much the same as the rest of northern Europe, which is where we are: it’s variable. For Andrea, I’m glad that you have found peace, safety and happiness in the UK : welcome to this little and beloved land. For whoever it was that was slagging off the UK…well, go back to South Africa and live in fear behind your security fences and enjoy the sunshine…you won’t dare to go out and view the scenery, but after spurning the country that welcomed you in, that’s about what you deserve.
I grew up in South Africa. I am married to an American and live in Kentucky USA.
I did not leave for political reasons–I emigrated in 1988 and left because I had met the love of my life. Now that I have three children I firmly believe that they have a better future here. My oldest daughter has a degree in nursing (nursing pays well in the USA), my second oldest daughter is studying civil engineering and will have a job upon graduating. The public schools are free and some of them are very good.
I have many South African friends who emigrated to other countries because they lost their jobs and could not find work in South Africa. This is a good enough reason to emigrate.
I have lived in the UK for almost 10 years now. I am proudly South African and miss SA everyday but the UK is by far better and of course Safer, I have just walked 2 miles from my sisters house to my house at 1030pm at night, No chance ever could you do that in SA.
People complain about the weather here but the weather is perfectly fine. From May all the way to October we have light from 6am to 9pm which is just plain lovely, yes we have 4 seasons in one day but its not that bad, As well as that the UK are prepared for the winter weather and don’t have issues with load shedding.
I read daily on facebook from friends that they have load shedding issues and daily crime issues, how can you live like that when you pay taxes, that’s not the way to live.
The saddest thing I found from all of this is that in all my time of living here I have NEVER met anyone in the UK that has been a victim of crime, In SA at least 9 out of 10 people have been a victim of crime or have lost someone due to crime.
I went to SA with my wife 4 years ago and as soon as we got off the plane my guard was up and I was worried and scared already, that is not the way to live your life, yes there is beauty of the country but living like that is not right whatsoever, I don’t even lock my car or house and am able to walk late at night.
Great opinion piece Andrea. I too left SA a year ago. I don’t feel like you are attacking SA or South Africans. You are merely saying that the level of crime in SA is not normal. Well, it isn’t! I find it very demoralising that whether you stay or go, you are judged by folk that have done the opposite. My husband and I suffered break-in after break-in at our block of flats. Then I was made redundant. My husband who had several years of overseas experience couldn’t get a decent job. It was one blow after another. While I still love SA, the continued negativity thrown at people who leave baffles me. Here’s my problem – take a US citizen who leaves the US, he doesn’t get torn apart from folk back in the US. People leave for a variety of reasons, crime being one of the main ones. Yes, SA is gorgeous. But that pales in comparison when you are terrified for your life at 3am with a knife held to your throat in your own home.
Hi Andrea, your feeling is one of many that I have read of late. I find it incredibly sad that we as a country are losing so many of our people. I lost two amazing friends last year to immigration and am about to lose another in a few months. At work – I have seen 7 colleagues do the same in a space of a year!
what irks me the most is the way people attack those leaving or wanting to leave, or even those who have left. We are all entitled to our own opinions and feelings. My biggest thing is – don’t make excuses or justify why you want to /have already left. Just say you choose not to be a part of this. You have not done anything wrong! You are entitled to raise your family wherever you want without having to feel guilty.
I am one of the people who would love the opportunity to remove my sons and mother to safety. Unfortunately, I do not have the means to do so and nor do I have the option as a SA citizen.
It is sad to see the state of our country but, is it not worse to be so hardened and immune to all that is happening around us? The case of the 4 year old little boy that got dragged over 8kms has shattered the last bit of resilience I had in me. What kind of human is capable of doing that to a child? It sickens me to the core. More than the daily fear that I live with. If you had asked me a year or two ago about how I felt about leaving – I would have been happy to stay. Now? I feel trapped.
So, I wish all those who have left or who are trying to leave, all the very best in the struggles that they face in their new homes. The grass is never greener on the other side but it doesn’t have to be filled with barbarians who do not value the lives of others, not even those of children.
Keep those of us left here, in your prayers.
Interesting. All I can say is everyone has their own opinion, and no amount of ‘discussion’ from all parties is likely to persuade the others. Here’s my 2 cents worth. My wife and I are both South African. In 2006 we decided to go to Europe for a 2 year working holiday, earn some Pounds/Euros, see the sites, travel, etc. Well, 6 years later, after having lived in 3 European countries and had 2 kids, we decided to come back. BEST DECISION EVER! We have never been happier since the 2,5 years we’ve been back. We settled in Cape Town, I’ve lived in JHB and DBN and won’t go back there, just don’t like them anymore. We don’t live in a secure gated property, just a good neighbourhood, and we don’t have a high wall and barbed wire fencing. We do have armed response, I’ve had to use them once, an opportunistic smash-and-grab that could have happened anywhere in the world. We regularly have drinks and dinner on the patio looking at the beautiful mountain range, with the house standing open, and we do not feel afraid. You can keep your 3 month summer, I’m here to stay.
Hi Guys,
Forget about normal and what country is safe. We all know the answer to that and SA is not going to win that fight in any rush. I have a stunning little 4 month old baby boy, he is by far the most beautiful little thing I have ever seen, beats any mountain range :-) I’m living in SA not because I have to, but by choice.
I was in the UK for almost five years as a youngster and needed to stay for a few more months to get my green card. Some times I regret not doing it, but I really can’t live in a country where the sun is a visitor once a month and the best local sport is to shut down the pub. That aside it’s also a beautiful country with lots of history and great people.
My old British company opened up in Canada and was on the phone to me the other day to check if I want to make a move. Again I was between a rock and a hard place to make a move.
The reason I will never move is not because of Table Mountain or a nice beach. The only reason is family, how can I ever not let my boy really know his true family, not see his grandma and grandpa. How can I leave my parents in a country I feel is unsafe to fend for themselves? I spoke to a guy the other day both his daughters is out the country, he is a grandpa of 4 kids, he has not seen them in 8 years? Is this normal to you guys sitting in the UK? Do you really not give a toss about anyone else but yourself and your safety? That is what I call a coward not moving to a safe place, but to leave the only people that will ever really love you, to fight or themselves and the bit of happiness they have left taken away from them.
Stay safe!
Hi Andrea, I wish I was as lucky as you to have relocated out of this bad County. I have just been speaking to a friend, and told her my nerves and stress levels are thru the roof. I am constantly having to look around and over my shoulder to see if i’m in harms way. There was a car hijacking, and the mother tried to remove her 4 year old baby from the car and the hijackers drove away with the baby hanging outside of the car as the mother couldn’t get the seat belt undone, and they just didn’t care, they just drove on and killed this beautiful child. These types of things have become a daily occurrence in South Africa, half the time you never ever hear about these things happening as it is being protected info so as not to effect the economy. I actually wish in a way that tourists would stop visiting this country as they endanger there own lives – look at the Devani case.
I left SA 12 years ago, and for most reasons I am glad I did.
I miss the people, family (not many) and friends, and the outdoor lifestyle.
I often wish I was there, until I am reminded by people still there that it is no longer the same place, and what I long for has gone.
I could not return, it is too expensive, and there is no way I would be able to get a job to support even a reasonable standard of living.
The UK is OK, our standard of living (excluding house and garden size) is much better than it was in SA, health care is reasonable, not as good as private in SA, however much quicker and better in an emergency.
It is certainly more secure, there is NOT the number of crimes and level of violence as in SA, and it does not have the impact on daily life as it does in SA.
One of the worst factors in SA is the racism of the politicians. Nothing has changed, except who is making the accusations. Look at the demonstration against farm murders. The demonstrators were accused of being racist!!!
Amongst the people in SA, I didn’t notice much racism, either before the change of government or after. People had to live by the law, but the true feelings of most (except those who fall off horses) became clear after the change of government/laws where it was shown that most people just want to get on with their lives, and be free to make their own choices, being mainly quite happy to mix with everyone else.
To compare just the two places though leaves out everything between the two extremes. I love the Philippines. The weather is better than SA (yes, can be true!) average 30 every day and 26 every night. The people must be some of the most friendly and hospitable anywhere, and it is a far cheaper place to live.
It has many similarities to SA. Jeepneys instead of Texis. Government healthcare is not as good as that in SA, the roads in many places are so poor that two directions of trafic have to share the same side of the road. The informal housing looks just the same, the poverty is probably more severe.
BUT and it is a big but, the people are so different. Poor as they are, they are always smiling and trying against all odds to make a little each day to buy some rice and dried fish, they are not blaming the past, or stealing from those who are better off, and you don’t feel unsafe there, or under threat of crime.
OK, SA has a history, and so does the Philippines, and such a brief comparison obviously leaves out many influencing factors, however I thought the comparisons between the UK and SA were cut and dried until I visited the Philippines for the first time, and realised that here was a place with a very similar social structure to SA, but without the problems that are often blamed on the social structure in SA.
Would I like too still be in SA? For many reasons yes, but for more reasons I will have to remain in the UK.
Yes SA has all the nasty things Andrea was explaining, however I am a follower of Jesus who is god and according to his word (the bible) he says we should not live in fear accept fear The Lord (in other words the fear of knowing that not following him leads to death)! Thus if we leave a country based on fear as opposed to faith then we have left for the wrong reasons!! Yes god has given us a brain to think logically and plainly, but he asked first most asked us to follow him and trust in him where ever he would want us to be!!!
Dear Andrea
Please do not mind those who are set on telling us that we are traitors and cowards for leaving South Africa, as you have said, our reasons for leaving South Africa are based on personal perception and experience. Your words are TRUE, and every day I look at my beautiful daughters faces reminds me that my husband and I have done the right thing. My daughters are happy and settled here in England, I am happy and so is my husband (who is British). Here they received a very high standard of education, our main reason for leaving South Africa was the poor quality of education and poor prospects of ever having a good job.
Having moved to the UK has improved our lives tremendously and I will always be eternally grateful that I was able to offer my two daughters a much better life.
Hi Andrea, and to all South Africans who are living abroad, who are reading and commenting on this blog.
I’m writing on behalf of a growing number of brave South Africans who have returned home, and who are part of a “Make South Africa better” revolution. You haven’t heard of it? …. well, it’s not publicised, reported, blogged, tweeted, you-tubed, etc. but if you listen, …. very carefully, ….. its deep down in your heart, as it is in ours, and every other hard working South African.
Yes, this is Africa … it’s not for sissies, ne? Yes, there are ‘wild animals’ in the form of criminals on every corner, and yes you have to watch your back. But man is it a beautiful country with beautiful people, and jeez it takes a whole lot of hard work and guts to make it work, but a “boer maak a plan”, en a “porra” maak twee, and the English have a Plan B. And where there is a will there is a way, mate.
And whatever your background is, the common thread is that if you were born and raised in South Africa, you are South African, and always will be.
Because there is nothing in the world that can replace, that braai smell in the air on a Saturday afternoon, hearing the neighbourhood cheers when the rugby is on, the smell of biltong, and the smell of the Highveld after a Thunderstorm, and the chill that bites your cheeks in the early winter morning in Jozi, and the rugged coastline, and the mountain, and the beautiful Cape … and you know … I don’t have to remind you … coz this is South Africa and it is our Home …. And it needs some fixing, in a big way, and we need your help, in a big way.
I’m sorry to hear your sad stories, I too have sad horrible stories of lost ones, I too walked away with my privileged white only education that the apartheid government gave to me, I too had to convince myself, every day, that my new home in London was nice, and it was, I felt safe and comfortable, and in time I could make it work, call it home and really enjoy it, but deep down I was miserable, sad, depressed. I did not fit in, I missed my family and friends terribly, I longed and pined to be home with them, I was trying to fit in to a place, that I didn’t understand, and that didn’t understand me. That kid on the London bus, seriously deserves a “warm klap”, how can anyone not understand that. I wanted my friends, family, relatives, neighbours, Woolies, Pick n Pay, boerewors, nik-naks, lunch bar (the fresh one),biltong, Mrs balls chutney (the affordable one), Bobotie, melktert, a hug from my ousie, I wanted to hear a loud South African laugh. I wanted South Africa back.
So we came home, against all warnings, particularly from friends & family at home and abroad, and the media, jeez the media are a warped sick bunch of people. Don’t get me wrong, the crime is here, but these are not bad people, these are desperate people, and desperate people, do desperate things. You would too. If you were deprived of basic needs, of water, electricity, education, health care, basic housing, basic skills, to get a basic job, to provide for your family, you too, would do anything…anything!!…. to bring food home, and unfortunately, it is crime that pays.
And it’s tough, and we doubt our decision being home every time the politicians open their mouths, but we’re committed to making it better.
We’re parents now, we’re the adults now, and it’s our responsibility, and the time is now.
Yes, it’s tough, things are getting expensive, because we’re forced to buy imported goods, coz our people don’t have the skills to make it ourselves, and those who do have the skills, and know what it means to make a plan, they choose to work hard in another country, making another country richer and better, and yet wish to be home, wish to be South African, write on blogs pining for it, and yet are doing nothing real about it.
Well we want normal too, we want to knock down our ugly high walls, awful electric fencing, cumbersome gates, we want to take a walk to the park in our suburb for the kids to ride their bikes, have a chesa nyama (say “chez-en-ya-ma”) with our neighbours (aka a braai), and celebrate “eid”,”the light festival”,”Halloween”,”Easter”, “Christmas”,etc, etc with them, head off to the Rugby, soccer, cricket games, music festivals with them, but it’s going to take real hard thinking, planning, effort and work, to eradicate poverty, and therefore the crime, and we’re here, we’re doing it, and we’re starting with the children, coz it’s their future we’re building towards.
Check these websites out, these are ordinary South Africans, making South Africa better.
They’re teachers, building schools, they’re doctors, building hospitals, they’re policemen, building secure suburbs, they’re engineers, fixing our roads. They’re business men and women creating jobs.
They’re bringing innovative ideas that they saw abroad, making a plan, creating a business, creating jobs, creating fun for kids, for families.
http://leadsa.co.za/
http://www.jozikids.co.za/
http://www.wakaberry.co.za/about-us/
http://www.jhbchildwelfare.org.za/
You know how google works, the good news is there.
And for a laugh at us all (and perhaps for a bit of insight) read this:
http://www.timeslive.co.za/lifestyle/2011/10/23/the-15-things-that-white-people-should-know-about-black-people
The South African government can’t do it all on their own, they need your help, they need your skills, they need people like you and I to stand up and say no means no and stop means stop to crime and corruption, coz its tearing our society apart at every level, and they need the help now.
So if you have the guts, I dare you to come home, and make South Africa better …. coz it’s not the same without you …. If you want it …. but …. racists, (including the ones in the closet), bigots, elitists … forget it.
You’re not welcome. You’re better off in your safe comfortable white surroundings, and so are we.
For those of you reading this and who really want to make a difference … and who want to keep the South African culture alive … then get off line, and get into the real world, and do something good for someone else … anything,….. it is wanted, it is needed, it is appreciated. And if you think clearly, there is a business, and sustainable living behind it too. If you don’t believe me, come visit, and ask the Chinese who are immigrating here, making it happen, and are seen as pioneers and business leaders.
Stop bad mouthing South Africa, stop reading & therefore supporting bad media, its damaging our economy, and making our lives difficult. Just stop.
Why did you leave South Africa? What is the “normal” it does not have? What can you do about it? You have the answer. Think, Make a plan! And just to do it.
My husband and I, work full-time and have three children. We brought back our skills learnt from London, and a bit of savings, to come home and be the difference we wanted to see. Our kids have a South African accent, and love being outdoors, so do we. They often spend nights over at their Grandparents, they love playing in the garden with their cousins. We love having friends over for a braai. We love driving down to the coast for that much needed annual holiday, that we saved our butts off for. We love being home with our family and friends. We’re ordinary South Africans, living normal lives.
We employ 5 people, in our home and side-line business, who support their family, extended family, relatives, friends. We’re now looking into building a school to employ teachers, and assistants, to teach children, to be good South Africans. I have no idea where to start, but I know how to google, be resourceful, make a plan, and am going to make it happen, coz I am South African.
If we did not live here, work here, earn here, build here, spend here, what would happen to them, what would happen to South Africa, our home ….. so anyway, that’s our plan …. What is yours?
I noticed one one the people who did not like your post, had a lot to say :-) telling everyone how much he hated England then went one to say he was going back to SA as soon as he gets his Brithish Passport, if the country is so bad why does he want a British passport, wish I knew someone at passport control, I would get he’s passport canceled, glad you’re leaving, your Motto is get as much as you can then leave, I’m sure you are taking British ££££ back to S A, wich will give you a better life in SA, shame on you get out and take the likes of you with you.
I was born in S A, I left SA 9 years ago, and would never go back,
Jeanette, the way you write is the same as the radical right in the UK speak. Make a few emotive and valid points, and use them to justify the rest of what is said.
Wont work, Sounds like the same kak as you find on homecoming revolution.
Hard working SAs??? Get real, any one who has come to the UK has had to work real hard, and I hear those who went to Australia even harder.
You are entitled to your opinions, as everyone else, and they could be respected.
But your snide comments about those who have left, and who you don’t want back, make you look rather silly.
Re-write your post without the digs and snide comments, and you may have a persuasive point, but as it is just re-enforces the feelings of those who have left.
You are nothing special because you are there. It takes a lot more guts to move and actually stick with the decision, than it does to give up and go back (of course no-one will admit that they could not make it out of SA, they will give examples of their success abroad and claim they are richer for the experience) or to never leave in the first place.
It’s a bit of a waste of time to preach to the converted as well, I don’t know anyone who WANTED to leave.
I was told, when I left, by the CEO of the city I worked in I could go back any time, and I have been invited to do so since.
Stop taking digs, running people down in a slimy way, and start doing SA some real good if you really believe. And don’t sound like homecoming revolution, that site does no one any favours (except maybe the owners trying to wear a badge to show every one how “great” they are)
Well said Steve,
Another one that could not go home with out the help of the British Pound,
“And the South African government can’t do it on their own ”
They need the people’s help, is it not enough they fleece everyone and treat their own like 2nd rate people ? If they have done nothing for their own people after all these years, when are they going to do something for the rest of S A ?
When I left the lady that worked for me asked me to take her with me, she worked for me for 8 years, Else was in her 50’s her question to me was ” when you go what is going to happen to me ? And Else was african, if the Africans can see what is happening how smart are the white South Africans who stay or go back to SA ? The same people that tell us we have no guts, It’s a common fact that the British government are making it harder for the SA’s to come to the UK because when they come on ” Holiday ” they some how forget to go back to SA,
Jeanette you like to google, have a look how many people have left SA, not because they are gutless but because they love their children and family and are prepared to work hard to give them a better life, my wish for you is to stay safe and I hope you never have cause one day say ” if only we never came back to SA ”
My family and myself never came for the £££££££ or a British Passport we are the fortunate one’s who came from a British family, strange how people come to UK find working and the cold hard so they make a plan….if they don’t have a family they have them in the UK apply for their own Passports and when they have saved enough pounds become ” Good South Africans” and go home to save the country, and we are the gutless people ? At least we don’t use the country we become apart of the country.
@Dolores and Steve …well said and so very true
@Jeanette – With regards to this extract from your post: The South African government can’t do it all on their own, they need your help, they need your skills, they need people like you and I to stand up and say no means no and stop means stop to crime and corruption, coz its tearing our society apart at every level, and they need the help now.
The South African Government need your skills?? Of course they need our skills BUT there is one big problem with this. They do not WANT it because the average white South African cannot find a job. The average white South African is excluded from the job market. The average white South African who still has a job, is FORCED to join strike action when all they really want to do is work. A sustainable living? How can any person that is excluded from the job market, have a sustainable living? Very very few people are fortunate enough to set up their own businesses or better, get to earn British pounds to help them go back to South Africa and start their own business.
Before you judge those of us who decided to leave, get all the facts and figures. I will NEVER feel guilty for leaving my country of birth, I am born South African and will die South African and I will die knowing that I have given it all up to give my children a chance at a happy, healthy and safe life!
I am sorry but I don’t understand why I should apologise for something I had nothing to do with. For goodness sake I was 4 when Hector Pieterson was killed. Yet, I like so many other white South Africans we will pay the price for others mistakes even the Bible says that you will pay for the mistakes of your forefathers. I’ve only heard of the “dompass” from what I have read. Yes, I will agree that there were atrocities committed under the apartheid government ….. however, when will the world wake up and see what has happened to a once very beautiful country? I supposed because it doesn’t affect the world why should they care? Which country in this world would gladly take white people in because of the “genocide that is happening here” regardless of your education or experience? None I tell you, they will all just sit by and shake their heads at the mess South African has become. I would gladly leave the country if I could, as I have two sons who cannot find work as because are White. So to our new so called government if you would like me out ….find a country that will accept me and my family and I will leave with a smile on my face. I heard on TV the other day one of our “esteemed” ministers saying that you can’t expect big changes in 20 years as they are not correcting wrongs over the last 20 years buy since 1652. Really? This is the mentality that every South African has to put up with regardless of race, colour or creed. We have become a laughing stock for the world.
Now before you start to think that I am a racist let me just inform you that I have been raped, attacked, and degraded for being white. My first husband was hijacked by two black men and taken into Alexander and murdered. My brother was shot execution style by 5 black men in front of his children for his freakin wallet and cell phone. Look at the little boy of colour who was dragged to his death by hijackers also of colour, there was such a media frenzy behind it. Yet when my brother and husband was murdered it didn’t even make the news papers.
It’s not just the murders but it’s the way they go about it, or the reasons behind it. I am sure there are murders, rapes and other crimes committed by white people in our country every day and to think otherwise would be very naive of me. However, white people do not boil children alive so that can’t testify against them or hack their victims to pieces with a panga. They have no conscience what so ever. They think nothing of breaking a bottle and stabbing someone to death just because they offended them in some way.
The problem with our society today is that the current government took away the 3 C’s as I like to call them and this was our saving grace. The 3C’s were: Corporal punishment in our schools made children respect our teachers, but now we treat them with disrespect and even beat the teachers up. Capital punishment kept our society in tow. Since we have so little value on human life now a days, taking someone’s life is easy because if you get caught you get housed in a prison whereby you get three meals a day, A roof over your head, Education and can study to a degree, full medical care at the state of the art medical facilities. Oh and before I forget, our prisoners are even allow to vote. Really? They were taken out of society because you could not behave yourself is a sociably acceptable manner yet, you get to vote about how our country is run and by which government.
And compulsory military service. I know this sounds strange as I have two sons. However, understand that the military service which used to be compulsory, made our boys into men. It taught them self discipline, respect, skills and how to defend our country. It also kept our youth out of gangs and off the streets. Now, with our new government it has become too expensive to do this. Really? So how did the old government manage it before? Corruption is the order of the day now….. We use money that was intended of good to fix our homes and buy jets and fancy cars. I say all politicians should earn minimum wage and you will see the changes…
Hi there, I found this article by chance but I feel identified in many ways. I’m Argentinian, and despite never having been to South Africa, I guess our situation is pretty similar. I live in Buenos Aires, and I think you nailed it on the head regarding fear: We live in a constant state of alert and tension, and it has become completely normal. The fear of theft is always present; I’m always carrying my bag in front of me, always walking quickly or driving with the windows up. Every house has window bars and walls surrounding the garden. Every single person I know (including myself) has been mugged at least once. Some friends have been tied up and threatened to death with firearms; other friends were kidnapped. But it has become part of everyday life.
Last year I lived in London for some months, and it was a completely different reality. Of course there is crime in the UK as well, but the difference with Buenos Aires is so huge that it’s not even comparable. In fact the biggest thing I noticed upon arrival was a strange feeling of being relaxed, as if I had deactivated all my personal alarms. And the tension was gone. I could walk at night without looking over my shoulder. In fact, as a consequence of the context where I grew up, I have become overly street-smart, meaning I have learned how to avoid danger in ways that someone from say, Germany, would never even think of. When I watch those innocent tourists carrying their cameras on their back I can’t believe my eyes.
Now I have returned home, but I’m planning to leave in the following years to the UK or Australia, although I don’t hold a European passport like most of my friends, and it can be hard to enter those countries. The truth is I have a very good standard of living here (despite all of the above), meaning I’m lucky enough to belong to the upper-middle class and have access to the best possible education. I know I could hardly keep this lifestyle if I was to leave to another country, but I’m sick and tired of living this way. I’d give up material things for a much better quality of life, hands down.
I am an eighteen year old South African living in Australia (I have my Australian citizenship but I don’t think that I will ever call myself Australian). We moved here when I was fourteen years old and I hated the idea of leaving South Africa. I had the same opinion as many of those hateful commenters above, thinking that my parents were simply cowards who couldn’t handle a slightly tougher way of life. I didn’t see anything wrong with South Africa. Only when I moved to Australia did I realise how much I had been missing out on. Over here I can take public transport by myself and not be afraid (unless it’s at some unearthly hour of the night) and have been doing so since I moved here. I can walk around the neighbourhood and go to the city with my friends at night. When I was in SA (Cape Town) I definitely could not do this. I was a typical middle class white South African girl getting picked up and dropped off by my parents all the time and having very restrictive curfews because of the high crime rates. I have become so much more independent as a result of living here; I don’t think that my friends back in SA have that same opportunity, at least not in the way that I did. Of course I miss South Africa but I feel like I have a much better quality of life here.
Hi Andrea,
I am a “middle-class”, white, married South African born, mother of six sons, (his, mine and ours), with five grandchildren number six on the way! I absolutely agree with you! The simple underlying reason being, white South African’s don’t stick together, to enforce their rights, our culture and roots, were lost to us many years ago! We have simply become very willing to adapt and change, as the fear of the un-known can sometimes be more scary, than the fear of the known!
I am one of those mothers, that fear for my sons futures, I fear for their lives! My one son was stabbed in the throat, standing up for a young lady that was being man-handled. As his company he was working for did give employees medical benefits, he had to go to a government hospital! Government hospitals have NO qualified doctors on duty after 6:00 pm at night! Long story short, Thank goodness for my daughter-in-laws 14 year medical experience (she stitched him up), thank goodness for her brothers senior position with our Ambulance services, as he sent a suture kit to the Hospital, as the hospital only had a first year student in charge, and only panado to dispense!
I fear my husband my not return from work, on a daily basis, as he works in the centre of Durban, and live in a suburb 11km out of Town. That commute takes approximately and hour during peak traffic! He has been mugged twice, in broad day light, with people all around him, we have lost 3 vehicles, only one being under the cover of darkness!
I have personally imprisoned myself in my home during the day, as I am alone. I will not walk 500 m to the shop, as I have been mugged on several occasions, on one of them, my check bone was shattered!
So for the rest of my fellow SA who, call Andrea names, who are you to judge, a mother, who does whatever she can to keep her children safe, give them a brighter future, with a stronger possibility of becoming a parent themselves!
Well done Andrea, I wish you and your family many, many years of health, love and hapiness!
Hi Andrea,
I also battle with my feelings about SA. I was born in Ireland but emigrated to SA in 1983 and lived there, as a naturalized South African, until 2013. I also did not want to leave. I loved the people, the diversity, the excitement, the nature, and the feeling of being part of something historic. However, as you say, I began to become aware of the hopelessness around me – beggars at all the robots, chronic, pervasive crime, inefficiency in the delivery of public services and a scary lack of concern by people across the board.
I was doing a PhD on political economy at the time and, through this, I came to realise that with the poor level of education, increasing corruption, and worsening social challenges, the country simply lacked the capacity to get things right in my lifetime. I also had some very unpleasant brushes with organised crime that scared the hell out of me, both in terms of the actual contact and the judicial infrastructure that impeded my capacity to do anything about the problem. I must say, however, I never felt or experienced any racism toward me as a white person. On the contrary, I felt fully accepted and integrated into society. I was furthermore aware that I was fortunate in having the resources to address many of the problems that surrounded me. I knew that the vast majority of the population did not and was much worse off.
Approaching the prospect of retirement, I did not like my options. I had come to feel very insecure and detested the prospect of having to live in a retirement set-up (we have no kids). Yet, I saw how vulnerable older people were who tried to live more independent lives, and the risks that this involved. We therefore sat down one day and faced up to the question – were we going to face down these challenges and stay in SA or were we going to move now and set ourselves up for old age somewhere else.
We quickly came to the conclusion that the unknowns in SA were just too great while, on the other hand, we could estimate with reasonable reliability what things would be like elsewhere. That elsewhere was Brazil, a country that we had come to know very well over the years and where we already had investments.
Two years on, we are well-settled and confident that we made the right decision. We also acknowledge though that the decision to leave was made with our minds and not our hearts. We live a very pleasant comfortable and secure life here but we remain addicted to news from SA. I still read the SA papers first.
Like you, though, Andrea I will never go back. It hurts too much to see what is happening. I would feel positively voyeuristic were I to return to SA. What would I be going to see? I could not in all honesty spend thousands on a trip to see the wildlife or Cape Town when I know that all I would see is the hopeless poverty while being paranoid about the possibility of being attacked. Despite what many people might think life in Brazil is very normal and I have become accustomed to feeling secure and not looking over my shoulder all the time. I would also feel very awkward amongst my old friends. What would I say when the lights went out? How would I respond when the conversation turned to crime and corruption? How do you avoid communicating the utter un-normalness of SA society? Any response would inevitably be loaded with a sense of criticism. I would fear the conversation turning to criticism for having left or evolving into typical whiny SA sentiments such as “You were lucky to get out when you did” or “Oh dear, we are stuck here”.
I too am angry and resentful of what has happened in SA. I did not want to have to leave and I feel very resentful of the behaviour of the corrupt uncaring elite of the new SA that has done so much damage. I am also angry at people who blindly put race before rational critique and thus effectively condone the appalling behaviour of this corrupt elite. This all makes me feel increasingly distanced from modern SA as I just don’t understand how people there think anymore. The country I adopted and chose to live my life in has disappeared and some awful dysfunctional mess had appeared in its place. It’s very sad.
I would like to stress that we endeavour not to be whiny ex-South Africans. We never bad-mouth SA to people around us and encourage those who express an interest in visiting. People do ask us though about issues like the behaviour of the Mandela family and why poverty and inequality is worsening in SA when Brazil provides an example of how much can be done to reverse this situation. Brazilians we know who have been so SA have, without exception, loved it and we would do nothing to sully that positive perception.
I’m so glad I found this because it is right to the point. And to be truthful, more people should be speaking out about the kind of social breakdown into criminality and anarchy all over the world. To leave this beautiful country and give up a lifetime of memories, family, etc. and move in order to have some sense of safety which equates to true freedom. One is not truly living free is shackled with a sense of hyper vigilance and fear everywhere one goes. I am a songwriter and I wrote a campaign song for the DA Leader Mmusi Maimaine in last years election, who loved it but unfortunately they had already selected their campaign song 6 moths prior. Basically it goes,
Oh South Africa lets unite
colours of the rainbow
Black and White
Lets stand together
to win this fight
Lets all vote DA
For our Human rights
We’ll fight corruption in every way
bring law and order back to stay
we’ll get the gangsters off our streets
so we can all live in safety and peace
Our kids will get textbooks into schools
not dump the books and bend the rules
We’ll clean the water that a disgrace
clean up the streets not leave it to waste
The public transport that’s in a bad state
regular bases and trains so you don’t wait
Anyway, as expected, the majority voted ANC who came in again in their stronghold Gauteng Province.
My husband and I were caught in the middle of the Bedford Mall shootout last week, (News 24/7) that was so terrifying, my son has been a victim of home invasion, tied up and robbed, gun held against his head, my other son has been hijacked twice, I have been mugged and robbed and my husband has been hijacked 3 times in the last 5 years.
People should Google “White Farmers murdered in South Africa” – it’s really very scary stuff and looks like the same thing happening here as it did to Zimbabwe with their white farmers. The Zimbabwe government has just given the last white farmers 90 days to vacate their farms. – Not buying them, just taking the land back!
The Doomsday Watch puts white South Africans on “No 6″ of all the 8 steps –
7 is Extermination and 8 is Denial! -” Google it!”
So yes, I do think it’s time to go back to England, this beautiful country has gone to the dogs of corruption. And all the beauty and sunshine means nothing without law and order! I am a British citizen and looking forward to coming home soon!
hello Andrea, I agree with your article 100%. I would go so far as to say you’ve even cleaned up the language a bit, you’ve voiced your opinion softly! As a South African, I fear that I might not have a future. I’ve gone so far to say that if I don’t get the opportunity to go abroad and therefore forced to stay here that I might not even have children. I am still very young, just finishing my degree this year. What I’d like to know from you, is how did you make the shift? My boyfriend and myself are very interested in Ireland but I have no idea where to get started. Are all the myths true, for one; do you need a large amount of money to migrate? How do you arrange a job for yourself? Would you recommend having children after the migration process is done? Thank you for your message. We are not weak if we seek a better future for ourselves or our children. It is our right to do so!
I have to laugh at some of the posts here! A good chunk of the anti-SA lot sound exactly like the racists that I went to school with back in the good old days when whites could just ‘Biko’ away the uncomfortable members of society. I always got mocked for being too liberal & told ‘to fxxk off back to the UK if I didn’t like it here’… anybody spot the irony yet? I’ll explain… the UK is getting overrun with whingeing Saffers to the point that it’s severely restricting your entry! I’ve even served with you lot in the HM Forces – I know exactly how shit your life must have become to lower yourself to serve the Poms! Lol
Next to no black postings on here either. Just the same old boring chants about how bad crime is (read: how bad the blacks are). If you love that side of the world so much why not move to Bots or Zambia? Ahhh… cause you STILL wouldnt be happy as a white man in black land. Or go back & fix your gemors? Hence why you all come to Fulham & Hammersmith. Or any other white country that will have you. You made the monster with 40 years of Apartheid, it’s just the circle completing itself baby!
In all seriousness though, I lived in Joburg from 5-23. Zambia from 2-5, so as a rooinek, uitlander, soutpiel etc I know how you deep down inside love the country. I do too. You have emigrated – same as myself. I am currently thinking of going back – no homesickness – SA was my home, I may choose to make it mine again, or I may not. But everyone crying about the crime blah blah – it is a direct consequence of your stupid social engineering of the past that has created it. Don’t sit in London whingeing about the kak weather & small houses – you are a visitor / refugee here. Go back & fix your mess or bly still! The ‘dogs of corruption’ are creatures of your own invention. South Africa could be a dream country, but acceptance that it is not a white country is needed first. You are essentially giving up your heritage to the Chinese.
Moving to SA was the most eye-opening experience I had in my life. You just cannot understand SA, its history and people until you move to this country – many, if not all of your previous perceptions about the country will surely die!
I am married to a white South African man and been living in this beautiful country for the past 7 years. I come from a Latin American country which is equally if not more violent than SA, but I have to say that the kind of crimes committed here are far more brutal – in Latin America, you only die in such horrible ways if you’re involved with crime and messed up or live in extreme poverty. Here, anybody can die in horrific ways, which to me, looks more like hate motivated crime.
I have to say that one thing that really bothers me in this country is the reversed racism. Because I look more European than Latin-American, with a very pale skin and light hair, people often mistake me for a South African. I lost count of times people in public places addressed to me in Afrikaans. So, because I look white, many times I get pretty poor treatment from “some people” till I open my mouth, then the treatment changes in an instant! Also, the ads they been showing on tv lately, portraying white South Africans as morons, is disgusting to say the least, blatant brainwashing propaganda. This is not right.
There’s a lot of hypocrisy in this country. After 7 years I’m still to find a real racist white person. South African whites are one of the kindest people I’ve met in life! Their work ethic is remarkable. Most of the time their frustration is purposely perceived as racism, but can anyone blame them for having higher standards? For striving for what is good and right? I would feel frustrated too!
People should start looking within before accusing everyone of being a racist – some behaviors are just unacceptable, so why should they be tolerated? My husband is a manager in a company and is told often how racist he is just because he fires straight away people who are caught stealing the company. My husband is called a “racist” for doing his job! There’s no excuse for stealing, specially when you have a job, but apparently in SA, you can blame an extinct system for your lack of honesty… 21 years after the system is over! I feel sad to be treated poorly when I’m not even from this country, but because I look white, I’m also punished! I am of mixed race, so I have no reasons to be a racist!
However, I have to confess that before meeting my husband, I also had this perception that all white South Africans are racists – oh, the power of propaganda! I feel bad I I used to think like that, but can you blame me when I grew up being told this lie through the media and educational system over and over again? Thank God now I can see with my own eyes this is so not true!
I wanted to be buried in this country. SA has a special quality of making you feel like you’re at home, It’s a beautiful country with beautiful people. I feel sad my wish probably won’t come true. Lately, my husband talks all the time about leaving.
Perhaps my wish will do come true – through my life being lost to brutal crime. I don’t say that as a criticism but it’s the reality. Nowhere is safe in this country, not even your social status can protect you anymore: you move into a high security complex just to be victim of the security guards dishonesty, when they open the gates for the criminals! My poor husband was once held at gunpoint in his lounge after a hard working day. A little investigation revealed the security guards were involved. How disheartening!
I love SA though, to the point of wishing I was born here, but God is wise: it would break my heart being able to compare past with present – it’s already heartbreaking to witness so many changes for the worse in only 7 years living here.
I wish you the best and lots of success, Andrea.
May God bless you and your family!
Hello,
I came across this article of yours by chance, and I have read all comments with interest…
I am still a reasonably young-white South African female, who is lucky enough to hold a British passport.
Most of my family still lives in SA, with the exception of one of my sister’s who moved to the UK.
I am also lucky enough to say that I have traveled around the world, and I mean that very literally, I have been everywhere…so I believe that I do know a thing or two about the world.
I always find these arguments amongst South Africans fascinating, infuriating and at times slightly humorous as well.
I would like to start off by making very clear that I am proudly South African, I love my country, I am proud to call myself South African, it is always with extreme happiness and excitement every time I touch down at O.R. Tambo International after I have been somewhere new, after I have been anywhere actually and I return HOME.
I have been everywhere, but have still never found any other place that feels like home to me the way South Africa does. I am a child (figuratively speaking) of the world, a free soul, an adventurer and explorer, a thrill seeker and I am not bound by the constraints of my surroundings…I adapt and I make my life work for me, I make my situation whatever it may be, work for me…in a nutshell I quite simply; JUST LIVE!!
I have never directly experienced any violent or dangerous crime myself, apart from a small case of what I believe was maybe kids, perhaps homeless, stealing a loaf of bread and a 2lt coke from the kitchen counter through an open window in the night, or alternatively they were also a group of stoners with a sever case of the munchies…I guess I will never know…either way I am at peace with it, and don’t live in fear that they might come back and try and take the whole fridge next time.
So while I have been directly unaffected, I have many friends as well as family who have been affected by crime, some petty, some more serious. I feel this too puts me in a position to also know; as many others do, what I am talking about…
I don’t dispute the crime, corruption, poverty and general chaos that ensues on a daily basis throughout SA, however I will say that in terms of how some of the rest of the world lives, SA ain’t too shabby, in fact in some cases we look 1st world in comparison…
I respect everyone’s choice to live their life how they see fit and to do what they must, go where they feel and live their lives’ in the best way possible…
I however do not agree though that living in fear in SA of the possibility of a what if scenario is a fair statement of fact to make for any person who has chosen to immigrate and to then turn around and say you know that crime still exists and persists too, where you currently reside, but you have no fear over this…I don’t know, but from my perspective all I can say is, Hypocritical and contradictory much…??
Rape is rape, murder is murder, theft is theft…this is not a phenomena unique and specific to any one country, race, language or origin…
It all pretty much happens the same way…please don’t be naive.
None of these acts are normal in any part of the world…don’t try and vindicate it country to country..
I have seen first hand the effects of spousal abuse, adult and adolescent all the way to infant female and male rape, as well as seeing the after effects of surviving victims from acts of crime…and guess what, this was not in SA…
This was in Jolly ‘ol England…the USA, and in France.
I was volunteering as an aid worker to victims of crime and abuse…
CRIME IS CRIME, it is not normal anywhere and it is everywhere…take off your rose tinted glasses and wake up.
I am careful and cautious when I am at home, and I exert that same level of caution everywhere I go and everywhere I will continue to go…but I don’t live in fear that someone may want to rape me or steal my car at the next corner…
My sister who I mentioned above who lives in the UK, has a good job and is earning pounds, but that is pretty much it…her entire quality of life and standard of living went to the dogs the minute she left SA…
She is miserable and just wants to come home…she is a beautiful, intelligent, vibrant and confident girl, she is well liked by everyone and has lots of friends…in her 2.5 years living in the UK, she has made no more than 5 friends, that she can actually call a friend, she has been more sick in these couple of years than she ever was in her entire life, she is pasty looking, she lives in a hovel which she pays a fortune for, she eats low grade meat and food in general, because a decent piece of steak is too expensive to afford regularly-and when she does eat UK standard quality steak, it’s the equivalent to a minute steak in SA, I can go on and on…but for the writer of this blog and the rest of the keyboard warriors out there…because she doesn’t live under the TRANSPARENT umbrella of corruption that exists in SA you will say all of this is a small consolation to the fact that this apparently makes her safe…
Again, I will say wake up…she is no more safe there, that she is anywhere else…this is a fact.
Please don’t misunderstand me, I am not saying SA is not a problem, I am not saying anything that happens here is right, I am not saying you have to accept the corruption which is the root cause of everything that happens, I am not saying you are wrong for leaving, I am not saying you perhaps don’t live a great life now, that matches or perhaps exceeds the life you had in SA, I am not saying you are not entitled to feel how you feel about SA…
All I am saying is don’t be so naive and don’t be lulled into a false sense of security, don’t be a hypocrite…crime is crime, if you walked around in fear of being raped in one country, then you should fear it in all countries…because I WILL SAY IT AGAIN…CRIME IS CRIME…
I choose to be happy, I choose to LIVE…!!!
I must just add … my sentiments exactly! I saw your article on facebook, posted by a friend living now in the UK. This similar topic appears on a facebook group ” South Africans Living Overseas” that I commented on! I plan to share your link there too… best regards from Bavaria… Taß
I left south Africa +- 20 years ago..after a my husband was hijacked,burgled, feared for my very small children (at that time)..I still miss south Africa terribly.one close friend was murdered in his home and my aunt and uncle at 80 having their throats slit..(one one was apprehended to my knowledge) .but I prefer to live in europe without having to look over my shoulder whilst walking the streets at 4a.m..
If people think it’s a normal thing ..I don’t..
The first time I went abroad (not the UK) but a Slavic country, I had jetlag and could not sleep. My brother who was living there at the time asked me to take a walk with him at 2 am.
I was shocked… scared… “Walk at night? Are you fucking crazy?”
He assured me that we would be alright. After forty-five minutes of negotiations, I went with him.
I was a wreck as we left the apartment building. Looking around, shit scared.
Until I realized, that at 2 am, we were not the only ones. 24/7 grocery stores were packed with people.
Couples were walking around as though it was common place. This was the normal here.
Three days later, I was walking to the shops at all the late hours of the night.
I never, ever have felt scared in one of the Slavic countries. NEVER.
After living this “freedom” for a year, I went back to South Africa to start University.
I remember in my first year, I lived in a student house in a moderately safe area in Bloemfontein (Universitas) and I spent the first month walking alone – not scared – unobvious to those around me.
Then my flatmates started moving in one by one. Two of the male flatmates found out I had walked to the shops and DROVE AFTER ME to tell me to “Get in the car and never fucking walk to the shops alone again”.
I was scared. What had I missed?
Apparently a lot, girls were regularly being attacked/robbed/even worse on this safe street I thought I was walking on. I had never lived in Bloemfontein, and just presumed it was safe.
My heart started to cave in under all the negativity and “fear-mongering”. I didn’t go anywhere without a car … well.. until I finished University.
But what happened, beyond me becoming “SA Crime Aware” again was a deep-seated depression.
I missed the safety of going for a walk. I missed being able to go to bed without having to check every single door and window two x over.
I had replaced a year of freedom with three years of absolute fear (true, I had a blast, I traveled to Wilderness, Cape Town and all the beauties of our country).
I loved South Africa but something was wrong. No longer could I pretend that I was “okay” with living in fear all the time.
I had tasted freedom and I loved it.
I now live in Denmark, where my husband can take our child for a walk at 3 am in the morning, and I don’t lie in bed shitting myself about whether or not he’ll be coming home alive.
I now live in a country, where my husband can go without his cell phone for hours at a time, and I don’t sit at home being a complete and absolute mess.
We still come to South Africa for one to three months every year. Whenever we go back, we miss being able to take our kids for long, meaningful walks.
I love, love South Africa but the fear that comes with me when I come back is so … unnatural for me now. It weighs down on my soul and my heart.
I am happy overseas. I am free.
You have touched on a subject that some will defend and and be blind to until death.. the same as the battered woman that do not see how abnormal her own situation is. Thanks for your openness … and I will pray for those that I belief lives in blindness.. as I pray for people that is trapped there with no choice of moving to a safer place. God bless
I resonate with your feelings – even more so having returned to live in SA for some years after a decade in the more ‘normal’ UK. I also think it is quite OK to express your feelings in the way you have. I too feel outraged by the present circumstances in SA – almost as much as I was by the apartheid regime. AND opposing the regime cost me dearly so I am not speaking from the ivory tower of theory! Many things are better now for millions in SA but the bar has been lowered drastically in other important areas. So we have a LOT of nation-building to do, especially true in the area of racial reconciliation and racism.
Hi,
I live in South Korea. I have been here for 8 years. It is true that crime is crime. I haven’t seen much crime here. Possibly because they try to hide it. As for a false sense of security, that’s probably true. But I do feel safe. for now I guess anyways. As for fighting and being tough. I tried, but it difficult because a life is worthless when I see how many people are attacked and killed for no reason at all. North Korea has been threatening with war. Syria, Congo, Nigeria. to name a few, where life is worthless. Truth be told, I would love to chill out and see the sunset over the bushveld having a braai and enjoying the night sounds of wild animals. I miss it every day.
But pick up a newspaper…. it’s full of crime…. And yes, I felt while living there that other countries had the same level of crime…. I was practically desensitised. The latter was not true. Here, when someone gets raped people get shocked and disgusted. There have been a couple of serial killers here too, and people were shocked.
There is another philosophy about life here. One that states that life is valuable. Life is sacred. It is difficult to explain. I don’t want to live in a spacious house surrounded by electric fences….. yet I will never get to live in a spacious house here in Korea….. I have a brand new SUV and I can park it anywhere I like…. if anything happens to it, insurance will cover it, unlike insurance demands in SA where the car needs to be locked away in a garage under lock and key…..
I don’t have to get worried about being sick, Universal health care (though not the most excellent, but pretty decent) takes care of me. And I can afford it. I worry about my mom everyday living on a medical aid that allows her to see a doctor twice a year…. But the USA is worse. . . you’re absolutely right….. every place in the world sucks in it’s own way… I don’t like the weather here…. I don’t like not having personal space, drivers here will scare SA taxi drivers….. and there’s plenty of discrimination against foreigners….
In the end it is not about being a coward or running away. It is ALL about personal preference. It is not like expats are living in the land of milk and honey. We are not. Even if fear has dissipated, something else has replaced it. In most cases, stress… It wasn’t easy to leave SA, and it isn’t easy to go back. All people, including myself, are selfish and will go wherever they are more comfortable.
I am Very, Very Fortunate to have lived in Vancouver Canada now for 23 years, where you can leave your front door unlocked all night, and nobody comes in…no fences around houses, no burglar bars….First Murder for 2016 in greater Vancouver, 2.8million population occurred on 30th Jan 2016…..When I first came here….I didn’t realize places like this still existed…THEY DO…..and I thought high crime was common around world…NO …IT IS THAT IN SA IT IS EXTREME…..It was by Far the best decision I ever, ever made to move to Vancouver….
Think London made a difference to the level of fear you should try New Zealand. I was amazed at how relaxed and safe life could be. Now almost 12 years later i could never see myself wanting to live in fear again. My kids can use the public services and go to the beach. Walk home from school and i see kids and grand parents walking at 9pm. Personal safety and freedom from harm are a human right. I wouldn’t want to spend a second more in my high tech luxury prison people call home in SA.
It really gets when someone states how happy and fortunate they were to have left SA are condemned. I am pretty sure that if every white S.African was offered a 1st world passport, with a job offer and a house etc.etc. not many would refuse.
I left SA 21 yrs ago and have never been back, have never looked back and have never had a single regret. In SA we lived on a 5 acre block, swimming pool, sauna etc.
We have simply exchanged braaivleis, sunny skies & Chevrolet to BBQ, sunny skies and Holden.
To be called a coward for leaving is ridiculous, it would have been a lot easier to stay.
The greatest gift we have been given is our freedom, I have been cycling from north to south, east to west of Melbourne, country rides around Victoria for the past 16 years, been out late at night, public transport late at night and have never had any sort of incident at all. If that makes me a coward then I must say I am a lucky coward. I thank God every single day for helping us to leave.
I hardly think NZ and Oz are perfect, many are uncouth, undisciplined Godless drunks, but it is home and I am grateful to be here.
Andrea…I get what you have been saying and agree…as much as everyone here is arguing the point…I agree with the fact that you cannot live as comfortably in south Africa as you can elsewhere. And why should you? Why should we live in south Africa and be proudly south African and live in fear? Why would this be normal to accept living in fear for your children. Besides that…what future do my children have in south Africa. Not a very good one. I am still in south Africa but think everyday that I would love myself and my family to leave…and we can. I must admit the only thing that would and does keep me here is my family. Andrea…let everyone have their opinions. At the end of the day…u living comfortably and not in half as much fear as south Africans. Hopefully….we join u there. :-)
This is the one single thing I severely dislike about expats: they all write smug, condescending blogposts like these that feign sympathy for their fellow countrymen who do not have the privilege (financially or emotionally) to live overseas.
Take your attitude and stick it, Andrea.
I live in South Africa and so does most of my extended family. We are not an unexucated bunch and most of us choose to stay here. Maybe its part of that pioneer spirit of our ancestors? We have nowhere to go and we have stayed to face the music. Viva SA. Fear is a state of mind.
Hi Andrea, quick question? I’m in Mali at the moment and was talking to a father and mother last night who have 4 children here (aged between 16 and 26) They are German’s and said they would never go back to Germany because of the “fear” of walking the streets due to the Syrian refugees that are attacking there youth. So just so that you get this, they are Germans who would rather live in Mali, a war torn country than at home in there first world country. I think your mistake is shunning the masses who have chosen to stay in the most stunning country in the world. Don’t be Naive enough to think we don’t see the trouble in our country but it’s our country and come hell or high water we want it to work. I have a Brit passport as do my entire family so we do have the luxury of choice and I choose SA. I also have parents who stay in the UK and know how there life is and it’s not quite as perfect as you make it out to be. There struggle is monthly and it’s not quite the fairy tale you would like people to believe it is. Africa ain’t for sissies. We’d love you to come back though. Doors allways open and you gonna have the Micky taken out of you for a while for running. Nothing a few castles, a boerie role and a good Braai won’t sort out in the glorious 9 months of blissful sunshine as we pack the cars and the boats and head out for a few serious cold ones with lekker mates.
I understand your opinion and can respect it fully as you have the right to protect yourself and your family. As a South African still living in this country perhaps I too have become immune and desensitized to the abnormalities smeared in our faces daily HOWEVER…I point blank refuse to become an emotional and physical victim and prisoner to the dysfunctional and corrupt workings of this land, my Mother Land, my HOME. I do not have the luxury of being able to take off into an unknown land and start a-fresh ridding myself and family of the numbing “comfortable” fear like so many others such as yourself. There is still so much to be grateful for and so much beauty within the heart of Africa’s “Special Child” and I am a firm believer in what you choose to see is what you will get.
It’s a pity that some have attacked you because of your human right to have an opinion (I’ve not read the entire thread just seen some of the really rude and disrespectful ones). Don’t take it personally you are only doing the best you can for you and yours the best way you know how.
All the best fellow South African…Sala Kahle :)
Well said , I have lived in Australia for !0 years , it is now home I am proudly australian , I sleep at night , sit on my front stoep at any time of the day and night safely , leave my back door open all day while I am at work. when I hear a sound , it’s a possum. when I first moved I thought i had gone mad because I thought maybe I had imagined the crime page in the newspaper, the kids would stay out till dark riding bicycles and on the beach after school. the freedom was giddy.
It’s Ok. Take care of yourself wherever you are. We ,South Africans , who are here , black and white, with no dual nationality, will fight against all the rot we find ourselves in right and we will win the devil.
Andrea
I love this country and I am still here and I will not give up the fight BUT if I can get my son out of this country I will not think about it twice. There is no future here for young people. Be happy that you got out and that you can build a future for yourself and your family in another country. Warn people there – or your new country will go down the same road. Yes, people will point fingers at you – do not let that upset you. I am too old and I do not have enough money to be accepted in another country. As much as I love this country – if I am fortunate enough to find a job elsewhere I am gone. As you said – it is not normal to live in fear. It is not normal to not trust your fellow human beings – nothing is normal here,
Thanks Jude…there are lies, more lies and statistics! I wouldn’t move to England even if someone paid me!! I found the lady’s message insensitive. There are millions of us living here who have “nowhere to hide.” This is my country of birth; I am a native South African, I live in a peaceful, safe neighbourhood and I’m not squashed into some dingy apartment in London. I have a beautiful, large home where children run freely. Gorgeous sunshine and the exciting electric storms make my day. It’s the millions in this country who are living in dire poverty who I feel for. Anyhoo…to each his own.
Excellent article which is well written and balanced. Judging by all the comments you have hit the nail on the head! Having been born in SA and lived here till I was 38, then moved to and lived in London for 12 years and the rest back in SA I must say that even with all the **** that goes on here I still much prefer it here in SA. Having said that we have carved out a unique little place out of the way that is relatively normal, so we minimise the bad and maximise the good. It’s a mental thing too, the idea is that you trust the you and your family will be safe and that releases the fear which enables you to live a full life (in the sunshine).
Reading a lot of different opinions,I think that one point that has been missed by some people is a “normal life” you shouldn’t live in fear! We decided when I was 39 and my wife 36 to leave south africa,I had a good job,we arrived in the UK in July 2008,I couldn’t get into the job market for whatever reason;my wife is French she got a job in France and we moved to France,we have now been here 8 years with a lot of challenges behind us,language ,culture,lifestyle ,it took us a long time to adapt to the changes,even though we had these challenges,”which are not for the fainthearted” we have made the right choice for our family,I have three children,recently in France there have been some terrorist attacks however I don’t feel unsafe,my children can go out when they want of course we are conscientious of their whereabouts but not worried for their safety.One thing that I know is that when I sleep it’s deep,no dogs barking and waking up at every noise of the night.I don’t get to go back often,I miss South africans quick to engage “warm and welcoming” and sometimes I get nostalgic.I know that not everyone can go and have to make the best of a situation,for example all of my family,for me it’s not a question of being a coward or to be brave to go,it’s a choice derived from wanting to give the best for your children.I always talk highly of SA and promote the country,however I do also talk about the challenges and why we left,and what that boils down to is safety for my family.
It’s so sad that many South Africans who left because of their encounters with crime,did so to have peace of mind.I am 69 years old and love my South Africa, yes we do have many problerms, but dont forget other countries also have crime and problerms. I have lived in the UK and been to America and Canada,where there is also crime.How ever I am not going to throw stones ?.I am not a weathly South African, but boy do I and my family including my Grandchlidren enjoy life.My wife and I spent a beautiful day on the beach promenade amongst mixed South Africans enjoying the sun, food,beer and watching dozens of wind surfers and kids of all races skate boarding whilst many families sat picnicing on the lawns at Eden On The Bay, Big Bay Cape Town.I spoke to my brother who now lives in a small granny flat,he and his wife emigrated to the UK a few years ago.on Skype and he told me it was dreadfully cold and all they could do was sit and watch the telly he left South Africa not because of crime,but for a better job opportunity, he sold his beautiful big house with swimming pool, carovan their cars.Well even in winter in South Africa you can still go the the beach and dozens of places which we often do and have never been afraid of crime.
I completely understand where you are coming from. There just is no price on Freedom! I was born in Portugal and my parents emigrated to Angola when I was very small. After the war broke out there, we moved to the then Southwest Africa (Namibia) and lived there for many years. Although, practically crime free, my parents were attacked in their business and my beloved Father was shot twice and my Mommy was shot in the face which resulted in her loosing the eye and besides that her whole face was crushed in….. There wasnt a place on her body that wasnt bruised. They hit her with a baseball batt after they shot her….Sadly my dad didnt make it and my Mommy was never the same again and died soon after…
Through my work, I was fortunate enough to move to a arab country, Tunisia to be exact and in the beginning I was horrified thinking…Me, a woman with two daughters in a arab country!!!! But boy was I wrong….Like the people above mentioned…the walks at 2 am, the freedom to just live in absolute peace without the fear that someone will be trying to come into your house and rob you and God forbid what else… So living there for close to 4 years was absolute heaven…..The job then moved me back to South Africa and my Freedom was once again taken from me. I live in fear that my youngest is at varsity and that she is not safe there…I have to live in a security complex because I tried to live in a independent house and ADT became my best friends…So yes, although South Africa is a very beautiful country with wide open spaces, a country where one can still afford a domestic worker easier than most european or first world countries, a country where you can live in a huge house for the same price as a two bedroom apartment in most countries…..it is just not worth the price of freedom…So yes, I can relate and understand exactly what you are saying..Until one tastes the true feeling of being Free, you will not understand
I completely agree with you.
Hate comments at you are totally unnecessary. I left a few years ago … not to flee, but to try something different – be adventurous. It worked in my favour and myself and my husband (a South African I met here) have been offered far more opportunity. There is no need to worry about discrimination or locking my car doors and rolling my windows up just to go down the road to the shops … I can actually walk, with a mobile phone in my hand! Our children can catch public transport – brilliant!
Yes I may not have a huge yard or a large home, but I have freedom – freedom to just be. The only time I see electric fencing is when I go to SA, not one of the houses in my road in SW London have burglar bars.
I miss the sun, I miss the ocean, I miss my friends and I miss my family. But in saying that, I love my life here and I am great full everyday for when I was ‘feeling like a change’. I will leave work in the dark tonight, I will catch a tube, a train, a bus and do a small walk to my house without a high wall, without burglar bars, without electric fencing or an alarm and know that everything is ok.
I don’t hate South Africa, I only wish for more change to happen, for there to be more equality and less discrimination against any colour, for government to help his country move forward. It took me being here in London, to really understand and feel the taste of freedom. I am free here.
Great article.
I think the simple basic problem is that South Africans do not realise that the way we live is not normal. Normal is not barbed wire atop electric fencing, security gates that have to be kept locked even, or perhaps especially, when you are in the house, electric gates that you have to be careful driving up to, etc. etc. Living in fortified complexes is not normal.
Andrea is right. Everyone that disagrees is wrong! Awesome blog, well done!
I moved to SA 30 years ago after growing up in the US and living in Germany for ten years. I personally find the people and this country amazing here – warm, friendly, helpful and talented. There are problems, one of the most of which is the wide variance in education and income levels. This must be addressed and then crime will subside. There are some very good suggestions out there, which if put to the test, will have an effect on these problems. Fear is an issue for many, which would affect anyone’s feelings of safety, a primary urge for all of us. This emotion is self generated, however, so one can learn to deal with it. I, for one, have absolutely no fear and have never had any issues. I do live in Cape Town, which I believe to be one reason for this. If I lived elsewhere, I would simpy take apprpriate precautions and then feel fine. I do wish those who have left all the best and hope you find what you are looking for. Please refrain from racist and inflammatory remarks in order to justify your departure. It is not good for the country and it is ultimately not good for you. We will be fine here, thank you!
I came across this article through a share via Facebook. I am a few years late but let me put in my opinion. I don’t hate you. I don’t think you’re a traitor. What I will say though is that your blog is completely misplaced and has no place being published. You lost that right when you left SA. If you are happy, that is most excellent but do not run down a life lived by millions of South Africans, that you are no longer part of. Do not expect to write the garbage that you have and not have South Africans get defensive. The number of expats pales in comparison to those who are still here. There is no fucking mass exodus from South Africa. You certainly cannot claim to be a refugee or a survivor of this country. I do not live in the perpetual fear you wish the rest of the world to believe exists in South Africa. If you’re an expat and you have left SA for a better life, I wish you well, but do not fucking run this country down and contribute to hurting our reputation in the international landscape.
@Kevin!! Firstly… AAAGH HAAAHAHAHAHA!!! dude, South Africa does a good enough job of ruining its own reputation. A small blog doesn’t contribute much! Secondly… South Africans who live there, bad mouth South Africa more than any of the expats I know. In fact, if you would like I don’t mind collecting all of the facebook comments up for you and collating them in a nice montage with some Justin Bieber background music. Thirdly, no one ever looses their right to say anything… watch this : “Kevin…. you have a lot of sand in your vagina… would you like a small yellow beach spade to get it out?” That was a fine example of freedom of speech, which apparently the SA government so adamantly supports. So enjoy living in your beautiful, rainbow nation of joy love and peace, enjoy earning your rands and enjoy the peaceful, non threatening living conditions. I’m going to enjoy earning my pounds, working from home.. and when my wife and child (who was born for free here in the UK) get back.. we are going to go for a walk around the lake round the corner of our house and not worry about getting tied up, raped, murdered and robbed….. Bye Bye now Kevin.
@Kevin… Here is a link to a nice yellow spade on Ebay. I don’t mind paying, considering this price is in pounds. It will most likely get stolen in the post… http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Hape-Mighty-Shovel-Yellow-Sand-Spade-Beach-Garden-Toy-New-/131466901145?hash=item1e9c09b699:g:jc8AAOSwpDdVEqfe
in short, what my colleague is trying to say, Kevin, is that maybe being a giant dickhead on the Internet is not a good way to improve you mental health, enjoy your spade Kevin, ya douche
Andrea..great work and well done in sharing and putting into words exactly what we feel as south africans. People will despise you for it but i’ve been thinking about this today and i agree a 100 percent x much love
Who the hell do you think you are Andrea – you and the rest of the traitors – with your putrid, first world arrogance? As I did when I lived in London and New York (by the way the latter makes London life feel like Cradock so joke’s on you), in Cape Town I use the metrorail everyday to work because if those stinking Brits were good enough to rub shoulders with, so are my fellow South Africans – yes, the ones you implicitly implied all have AIDS.
This Saturday, I will surf Muizenburg until I am burnt to crap. Then, I will go watch Stormers v Bulls in Newlands whilst again drenched in the Cape sun, before I awesomely and drunkenly stumble around the cbd after training to it. Believe you me I will get so drunk WALKING between pubs that only Uber will be able find home just as it did in that filthy “normal” hole you proudly call home.
I had to hold back my vomit reading your shit about normality. The core of the reason we have any issues is because Britain once thought it was normal to RAPE a continent and then leave it to rot when it was done. How’s that for a statistic? I love my life everyday in SA because at least here I get to add value and kindness, and help to slowly undo all the poisons that riddle the home that raised me. My education means something here – it’s not left under-utilised in some over-priced British machine who couldn’t give a shit about me or my South Africaness – or that I earn a meagre salary and stay in a tiny house in a massive city that makes me use Uber anyway because the fucken trains close at 12 and Clapham and Peckham are years apart by bus!
Hear me now: Cape Town makes London look and feel like a toilet! Cape Town is the best city in the world without any shadow of a doubt – and it’s my city. Mine! I came back to live here so that my children will have a flat, Springbok accent to one day use when they laugh at your children when they say: ‘I’m South African, really, I am!’
Pathetic! You know nothing of South African love – of how it lives and breathes every day in this khaki veld! You know nothing of South African love as it oozes from me every time I hear the word ‘bru’. You know nothing! I speak to a different South African every day in this place and they all laugh at you and your “Saffa community”. What a fucken joke.
Burn your green mamba. You’re all a white poison that seeps into the scars of the rest of us just to burn us. Like a selfish acid! For what? All so you can snigger and giggle and mumble and whisper, “I told you so, I told you it will be like Zimbabwe!”
Im sorry to say this sweety but no amount of corner “Saffa” shops will ever compare to the real thing, to this Saturday, to living for the gees of living, for braaing for the gees of the jol. I live in the best city in the world and it’s the best because I’m not afraid to live in it. Remember, fear is a choice you can choose not to have. I live normally, which is more than I can say for you bunch of British slaves!
Hi everyone. I am a student is south africa, my last year. Every day i go to class, i am scared. I never used to be… but when i saw all the drama in a pretoria university it made me think. I have a daughter of 4 years. How am i supposed to go about moving to a safer place? What do you do if you dont know anyone overseas? I am scared for my life but most importantly my daughter’s life. I only want the best for her. And i NEVER want her to be a victim of these crimes.
Advise would be highly appriciated.
I’m sorry if i offended anyone here
Kylo – increase your medication – good luck in SA, the President encourages white genocide, almost impossible for the average white to get a job, the police force are terrorists / criminals, the economy is in dire straits, the infrastructure has almost collapsed, law and order is almost a thing of the past, water and electricity – well lets hope. We all make choices, mine was for the better, I can’t comment on the UK, but NZ and Oz (for someone who never had an idea of what freedom was, is a dream).
Stretch. What a fucken weak and generic reply. I’d rather live in the dark than let you scum return. Good luck in Aus you child. And remember: this championship, you better burn your Springbok top. Burn it good little man. Burn it good! We. Don’t. Want. You.
Ek fokken haat julle. Long live the Mandela Men. Long live the Rainbow and long live all who live under it, in fear and in darkness – and in the sweetest light that will one day come.
Veraaiers.
Brave person writing those words for all to see and many to criticise.
I’m a South-Africanated-Brit (born here to British parents).
I’m proudly South African though.
Grew up here.
Could run – didn’t.
Did 5 years in the cops AND two years infantry (NSM) and camps.
Like everyone of us here, happy to defend my right to exist. Capable, ready for anything and constructively engaging and contributing to my community.
Aside from all the “usual crime” (car break ins, robberies at friends homes, burglaries, etc) I have finally reached a tipping point.
It took my wife being brutally assaulted for HER HANDBAG AND PHONE to get my blood onto the boil.
Every time I thought I could cool off, another violent incident pinged on my crime radar – most recently the murder of 16 year old Franziska Blochliger in Tokai forest on Monday.
NO THIS IS NO LONGER NORMAL!
The government does not want to fix anything because it hasn’t reached the low point that they have orchestrated where a dictatorship can be proclaimed – the faux democracy spoken of here in SA is not one because the government has ridden rough shod over our constitution at every opportunity.
They no longer give a shit about anyone but themselves.
DEMO – CRAZY is more like it – burning, looting, killing, savagery, thuggery, druggery, it goes on and on…
NO, LIFE IS NOT NORMAL HERE IN SA
I too want a peaceful existence, free to walk or hike anywhere without looking over my shoulder or fearing for the well-being of my family.
I fear for my and wife’s ageing days when we can no longer fend for ourselves (or others).
Would I leave tomorrow and take my family with me to anywhere better (please not UK)?
Damn right, yes I would.
Proudly.
Because they (my family) deserve it.
Will it happen?
No.
Don’t have the money.
Hobson’s Choice it is – make a stand if and when required.
If you have the means to leave and you truly believe it will be better, then go, but don’t belittle those left behind because we won’t give everything up easily.
Good luck over there and better luck HERE!
I don’t understand why leaving South Africa is seen as running! It’s a big world out there with many amazing things to experience. Personally, I like seeing the world having pounds in my pocket, but I had the luxury of being able to make a selfish choice and leave without having children to consider. Every time I try to explain to people why I won’t return to SA, they try and convince me that I must be afraid. Not so! I never was! I simply prefer my amazing career, having friends from all over the world, living the art, culture, history, theatre, music, street style, food, travel, individuality, vibrancy and everyday crazy good surprises that is London. There are even quite a few South Africans here! What more can a person ask for?
What you “saffirs” (fuck, how pathetic?) tend to forget is that you are still a heavy minority. Because you only hang around with other “saffirs” (fuck, how pathetic?) abroad you think everyone lives there. We don’t. 5 million white South Africans still live at home. So chill “saffirs” (fuck, how pathetic?), you’re still a heavy minority. Here, we’re just called South Africans. Not “saffirs” hahaha (fuck, how pathetic?)
Good read… I agree with you, you are lucky to have gotten out. I’m currently trying to immigrate… I know I will miss SA, but I want to live somewhere where I do not have to constantly worry about what might happen. I’m a single female, and well… let’s leave it at that. I travel a great deal overseas and I always bring this paranoia on the first day or so while in Europe, then after that I’m so chilled. I’ve stayed with friends and family overseas and I love the way they live with no worries about being attacked while they drive/ sleep etc. I know crime is global… but it’s just different. I wish you and your family all the best overseas… I can’t wait to start my life elsewhere, with my dogs. :)
Been in South Africa for four years. Fishing great, price of everything cheap, weather awesome. People generally insular and selfish, driving awful, integrity poor, business skills poor. Nobody works hard, how do they have big houses and pools?
Wife is moving back to UK with me. Freedom, national pride, culture and In the most decent people. Fantastic.
Andrea, I echo every sentiment. Those that want to stay good on them. I know I have a better life elsewhere. I don’t want to look over my shoulder or my children. I don’t even want to go home to SA for a holiday why pay good money to look over your shoulder. Even my kiwi husband says the same thing. I’d rather holiday in Aussie closer and heaps to see. I don’t need to live in a country with some monkey as president. What a laughing stock to say the least. Anyway I agree with you 100%
Hey Kylo
Carry on surfing its probably all you good at. And you do the right thing man you stand up for your country. In Aussie and NZ we have the same surf beaches and everything SA has besides the animals and yea we don’t have to lock our belongings away when we go to the beach for a surf. We don’t even lock our house when we go away. You live in cluster villages with a false sense of security because at some stage you have to come out from hiding behind that wall and when you do, you fair game. Suck on that and go the All Blacks!!! Good luck waiting for the sweetest light hey you might actually grow up by then.
I am British and live in England and have been to SA twice now. Stumbled on this blog by pure chance and it has gripped me for hours now. I hope one day things work out for SA and that a balance is achieved that works for everyone concerned. I just wanted to say to all of those SA’s wherever you are your country is one of the most amazing places I have ever visited and that I can’t wait to return to this beautiful country despite all its problems.
This is funny. About 6 years ago I would have said that this article was rubbish and I would have been absolutely critical about it because back then I looked at the world with “Nelson Mandela” tinted glasses. Not anymore. Our government are always going on about clean water, electricity, health care for all as basic services that every South African should have. But they missed one basic right, one basic need that every human being craves, and that is being able to walk to the shop at 7pm because you maybe forgot to buy bread without being mugged. The right for kids to play outside without fear. I have a 6 year old daughter now and I am at a stage in my life as a south african where I can’t see it changing for the better. I would never slander my beloved country and home but the truth is the truth. What kind of life is it living knowing that your kid isn’t safe doing what kids are supposed to be doing, playing. I played outside as a kid and felt safe. Why shouldn’t my kid have that same privilege. Yes, apartheid was wrong but surely this “hell” is also wrong and a violation of our basic human right. Why are we not starting liberation movements so that our kids can play safely outside? Just my 2c as right now I am feeling immensely frustrated about the state of my country. The land of the free and the home of the brave. I want to believe that one day.
This article is somewhat an eye opener. We all live our lives day by day not realising how bad it really is. I am currently living in Durban and while I do find it to be a beautiful city, it is possibly the dirtiest too. But it is still home.
I have been mugged, broken into and have been in an attempted hijacking, but I do not live in fear. I’m not naive about it though.
There is a lot of negativity in South Africa, but how is running your mouth off about a country you no longer live in going to make where you live any better? You gave up this drama for different drama. At the end of the day, the grass is never really greener on the other side, it just looks that way because you are blinded by your own illusions of what’s better.
I’m not saying that anything you have ranted about is untrue, you are no longer living here, so why even bother? Yes, you have family and friends here, but it is still not your problem anymore. Not that anything you could have done here would change anything.
I do apologise if I have come off as rude, I just believe that while all you said may be true, South Africa does have some amazing reasons why you should have stayed.
When you focus of the negative, that’s what you will receive. Even though it is farfetched, I believe that if we all stay positive, we will see positive change.
Thank you for letting me have my rant :)
Whats even more disturbing, is the comment section of South Africans that still live in SA that don’t have the concept of “living without fear”.
Only ex-pats will know what its like to live a “normal” life.
Thankfully we got out before the shitstorm of hijackings,rape,murder,corruption e.t.c. happened which was back in ’93.
last time I was in SA was in ’97 and apart from the beautiful nature, beaches e.t.c. I try not to dwell on missing SA, as what the country once was, is now just seemingly a savaged war-torn country.
I’m glad I can sleep safely at night without needing to lock doors. Its a good trade-off.
As for Craig van yl’s comments about not “living up to a challenge in life” – a post you wrote in 2013 – I’m presuming you’re probably not alive anymore, while the rest of us ex-pats are – so your comments are automatically nullified.
Thanks for your blog post and your honesty. However it is the comments section which really intrigued – even disquieted – me, particularly the vehement and often unkind words of those attacking your position (rather than wishing you and your family well!), and their impassioned defense of “staying”. One wonders if there is not a certain anxious defensiveness present when that sort of ‘patriotism’ begins to manifest in angry attacks on emigrés? The very intensity of the debate raging in the comments section is revealing is it not? When someone leaves Belgium to work in Malaysia, or Sweden to live in France, they are not seen as ‘veraaiers’. We South Africans – especially white South Africans – appear to see the emigré as some sort of traitor to some ill-defined cause. Or betrayers of some mythical country of our collective imagination. This response fascinates me, and it will no doubt become the subject of some academic study some day – perhaps titled something like “Those left behind: the anxiety and anger of abandonment.”